Perceptions – Part II

For the past couple of days I’ve been blogging about how we, as humans, have a propensity to make up explanatory stories about ourselves and others. So, along that vein, I wanted to write a second part to my previous blog on “Perceptions.”

As a quick refresher for those who have already read that blog, I’ve posted bits and pieces from my previous blog below:

We all have powers of perception when it comes to “reading” others. We perceive people to be upset, to be dangerous, to be lighthearted and fun to be around, and to be serious and void of humor.

While perception is a valuable tool for us to use in our communications with others, there is a particular trap we often fall into when it comes to perception. This trap, of “preconceived notions” isn’t reserved for people we’ve just met. It also interferes with people we’ve known for a long time.

If we only relate to others as we “know” them to be, we never leave room for them to change, grow, or transform. They can only “be” who we perceived them to be. And, in our worlds, once they do change, we don’t see it because we’re never looking for it. We’re only looking for the evidence of what we “know” to be true about them. And, we will always find the evidence we are looking for to support our assumptions / perceptions about others.

So, today’s blog is really a simple exercise that will move you into a place of letting go of what you “know” about another. If you’re anything like me, when you see an exercise, you’re probably tempted to just read it and see what you glean from it. But, I promise you, that the value of this exercise is in actually doing it.

So, please grab a clean piece of paper and write down the name of the individual you want to use for this exercise. I would recommend using a spouse or partner or a family member – someone to whom you are very close and have daily interaction.

Now, take as much time as you need and write down the answers to the following questions as related to the person whose name you wrote down:

What is it that I already know about this person?

What opinions do I have about this person?

What judgments do I have about this person?

What are his or her strongest attributes?

What’s wrong with him or her?

What decisions have you made about this person?

What true about this person?

What does this person think about me?

What is this person's relationship to money?

What is this person's relationship to sex?

What is this person's relationship to communication?

What is this person's relationship to intimacy?

What is this person's relationship with me?

Whew! You’re finished with that part; now for the fun part:

Look over your lists of the things you think about this person and the things you believe that he or she thinks about you. Where did all of those ideas come from?

I’m guessing that you didn’t write down how you see this person in the future.

And, the present is happening now, and now, and now, and now. So, you couldn’t have gotten your notions from the present because each present moment quickly becomes the past moment.

So, I believe that you’ll agree with me that everything you believe to be true about this person came from your past experiences of this person. Could this person have changed and you have not recognized it?

I wrote in my previous blog that “In order to compensate for this ‘trap of perception’, we must give up, anew, our previous perceptions about a person each time that we interact with him or her. Only then, do we allow another the space s/he needs to be fully self-expressed as who s/he is, in the present.”

Consider that your intimacy with a person is directly related to your ability to be with who he or she is in the moment. We’ve always looked at intimacy as something that we feel, based on the happenings or events of our past. But, really, intimacy is being able to share exactly who you are at any given moment and the person with whom you are sharing being able to understand that and not let past interactions interfere with his or her perceptions of you in the present moment……and, vice-versa.

Now, look at the list of things you wrote down once more and ask your self these questions:

What would be possible with this person if I could give up knowing all of this stuff, and could discover him or her newly?

What would be possible if I engaged with him or her as if each time we met it was new and I would look for what’s present instead of what’s missing?

What would be possible in our relationship if she or he listened to me newly each time? Would he or she discover things about me that he or she didn’t already know?

Task yourself this week with discovering the people around you, newly, as if you were meeting them for the first time and see what a difference in makes in your affinity for them.

Our Worlds Are Created By Our Words – Part II

Our worlds only exist in language. There is no “you” outside of language. There is no “me” outside of language. And there is nothing else in this universe that exists outside of the world of language for you and me. If we didn’t have language, would we know one another by smell or sight? Would we be able to differentiate one from another at all? Would we “name” each other by using tongue-clicks or guttural noises? These are all valid questions for what our lives would look like if we didn’t have the cognitive skill of language.

We are the only part of God’s creation that has true language. We are able to “create” new things in language – naming something that is newly invented. We are able to coin new words that have meanings varied from those already in existence. This, on its own, differentiates us from primates.

Monkeys have proven that they have the ability to use tools. They are able to mimic the actions of other monkeys and learn to use sticks for things such as getting ants out of an ant-hill, etc. But, you’ll never see a monkey pick up a stick in order to get bananas out of a tree, for a tree that is yet to be seen down the path. In other words, monkeys don’t exhibit any behavioral signs that they are ever living for their futures. Their worlds appear to be all about the survival of their present.

So, we are distinguished from the lower classes of animals not only in our ability to use language as a representative tool and for communication, but we are also able to use our cognitive skills in order to plan for our future lives. And those futures will look exactly as our pasts have looked unless we use our skills in language to create something that is different from that which we now have.

You see, it is only in language that creation may occur. On a simple level we could say, that if I were to create something with you or with a group of people, it would take our communication to accomplish the creation of that thing. That is the simplest form of using our language for the purpose of creation.

However, there is a greater form of creation that we have available to us through language. And that is simply, the creation of a thing, created in our speaking, our writing, or our thoughts.

The Bible gives us a lesson from history about what man can accomplish (or, create) with two fundamental things: (1) Imagination and (2) Language. Following is that account from Genesis 11:1-12 (AMP):

The Tower of Babel

1And the whole earth was of one language and of one accent and mode of expression. 2And as they journeyed eastward, they found a plain (valley) in the land of Shinar, and they settled and dwelt there.

3And they said one to another, Come, let us make bricks and burn them thoroughly. So they had brick for stone, and slime (bitumen) for mortar. 4And they said, Come, let us build us a city and a tower whose top reaches into the sky, and let us make a name for ourselves, lest we be scattered over the whole earth.

5And the Lord came down to see the city and the tower which the sons of men had built. 6And the Lord said, Behold, they are one people and they have all one language; and this is only the beginning of what they will do, and now nothing they have imagined they can do will be impossible for them.

7Come, let Us go down and there confound (mix up, confuse) their language, that they may not understand one another's speech. 8So the Lord scattered them abroad from that place upon the face of the whole earth, and they gave up building the city.

9Therefore the name of it was called Babel – because there the Lord confounded the language of all the earth; and from that place the Lord scattered them abroad upon the face of the whole earth. [Italics & Bolding are mine.]

The Law of Attraction is just as real as the Law of Gravity. We can’t see either of these laws with our eyes. Yet these laws are finite and unrepentant. Quantum mechanics has now proven that in order for there to have been a Universe, there had to have been thought. Remember:

“In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.“ - John 1:1 (NIV)

“And God said, "Let there be light," and there was light.” - Genesis 1:3 (NIV)

“…And God said, “let there be……….” and there was……” Genesis 1:1-31 (NIV)

Being able to declare in advance the results that you’re committed to producing, and then having those results occur because you said, leaves you profoundly related to reality.

If You Don’t Like What’s On the Outside, Change What’s On the Inside!

There’s a phenomenon that’s common to the human experience in which we continually create the same experience of life over and over again. If you look back over the course of your life, you will see that this phenomenon has been present at various points of your life and in different areas.

Look back at your relationships. Perhaps you left one relationship that wasn’t working for you, just to end up in another relationship, or even a string of relationships, that pretty much looked the same as the last. Whatever it was about the one relationship that didn’t work for you, continued to present itself in the next relationship(s) also. This is a common pattern that we see in Battered Wives Syndrome.

Look at your previous work situations. Did you ever leave a place of employment where you didn’t get along with your co-workers or your boss only to have the same experience at your next job?

What once occurred to me as Life handing me the same situation over and over again until I learned whatever lesson there was for me to learn, now occurs for me as Me creating the same situation over and over again until I change what’s on the inside. What we experience in our lives is always a direct reflection of what’s happening on the inside. Our thoughts, our ideas, and what we believe to be true create our life experiences. We actually attract to ourselves what we think about and believe.

I know this is hard idea for some to swallow. I can imagine the thoughts of readers thinking, “I didn’t want this illness in my life” or, “I wasn’t wanting to have a car wreck or other such tragedy.” It’s not that you were literally thinking, “I want my house to catch on fire” or, “I want to be sick.” Instead, the things that have come into your life were attracted to you by the vibrational frequency of your thoughts.

For example, if it’s common-place for you to have feelings of guilt, low self-esteem, shame, fear, self-righteousness, judgment, or resignation, you are emitting thoughts that attract unwanted and unfavorable circumstances and situations into your life. The vibrational frequency of these thoughts is the same vibrational frequency of the unwanted events that you have experienced. That’s why it’s so important that we change our thinking. If we are thinking thoughts that make us feel good, we are attracting into our lives, positive, and desirable things.

After learning this lesson and changing my thinking to be positive, it’s now common-place for me to have people go out of their way to help me or to provide great customer service. I no longer catch myself grumbling about others’ attitudes or apathy. Instead, as I now live to be of service to others and to show them unconditional love, I receive back from others the kindness and love that I believe we all have within us to give.

If you find that you are creating the same unwanted life experiences for yourself over and over again, look at what you are thinking and what you believe to be true about yourself. Do you believe that you are less valuable than others? Do you believe that you have less to give or that you cannot make a contribution to those around you? Do you believe that your body has an unhealthy constitution that’s prone to sickness and disease? If so, you are only attracting to yourself negative life-events. Work on changing your thinking so that you maintain a positive self-image. Once the image you hold of yourself on the inside is that of the powerful, healthy, beautiful, whole and complete, and loving person that God created you, you will see positive and desirable things manifest in your life.

How do we Attract Good Things by Thinking Good Thoughts?

Experts disagree on the number, but researchers estimate that the average person has approximately 60,000 thoughts/day.  I don’t know about you, but I can’t keep track of that many thoughts!  In fact, I’m certain that I’m not consciously aware of all 60,000 thoughts.  In my case, it may be closer to 100 – 200 thoughts that I am consciously aware of thinking.  If all thoughts entering our minds are not the result of us consciously thinking them, where do the rest of these thoughts come from?

I don’t have the answer to that question.  But I do take heart in knowing that I’m not at the source of all of the thoughts that go through my head.  That means, some of these random thoughts that enter your mind from time to time, aren’t the result of you consciously thinking them.  That should relieve a fair amount of worry for some.  Having a random thought about doing something that is outside of your character doesn’t mean that you are flawed or that there is anything wrong with you.  It simply means that particular thought wasn’t from you. 

We need to get our thinking corrected in this area.  For many of us, we haven’t been having thoughts.  Instead, our thoughts have been having us!  What I mean by that is that we believe that we are our thoughts.  That is absolutely not true.  Your thoughts do not make up who you are.  You determine who you are.  And, you have the right to think thoughts in line with who you say you are.  And, you also have the right to disregard any thoughts that pop into your mind, which don’t line up with who you say you are.  Those thoughts aren’t from you anyway.

So, if we’re having so many thoughts of which we are unconscious, how do we know whether or not we’re thinking “good” thoughts?  Well, we do know from the Law of Attraction that if we want to attract good things into our lives, we need to focus on thinking “good” thoughts.  This is where we need to tune in to our feelings.  Our emotions, or feelings, are the prime indicator of our thoughts.  In fact, at any time of the day, you can simply do a quick check of this by asking yourself, “How am I feeling right now?”  If you’re feeling good, your thoughts must be on good things.  It’s impossible to feel good while thinking “bad” thoughts, and vice-versa. 

Try this experiment right now.  Think of a fond memory you have from childhood or your young adult years.  Maybe a fond memory of a special time shared with your mother or your father or a childhood friend.  Now, while you’re thinking about that good memory, try to feel upset or angry.  It’s impossible!  You can’t feel bad if you’re thoughts are on good things.  Now we have an easy barometer to use to check our internal dialogue.  If you’re feeling good about yourself, you can know that your thoughts are on good things.  If you’re feeling bad about yourself, you can know that your thoughts are on negative things.

So, what do we do if our thoughts are on things that are making us feel bad?  Well, we all have things that can trigger a happy emotion/response from us.  You’ll want to think about what these are for you and have 3 – 5 “happy triggers” ready to use at a moment’s notice.  Things you may consider using are:

• Listen to Music  (a favorite, or soothing piece of music can change your mood very rapidly)
• Take a few minutes of time to spend with a Pet 
• Recall a favorite Joke or antidotal story (one that makes you laugh heartily)
• Recall a fond Memory of a favorite person you enjoy spending time with

There are many other “happy triggers” that you can use.  But the above are some of the most common and a good place with which to start.

Wishing you days filled with happiness and every good thing.

The Power of Thoughts

or…...."Thoughts Become Things"

In my blog of Sunday, July 5^th, in which I introduced the Law of Attraction, I included the four axioms of that law. Two of those tenets are: (1) Thoughts become things and (2) What you think about, you bring about.

Thought is a powerful tool according to the Law of Attraction. This law asserts that those things to which we give the majority of our thought-life, will manifest in the physical world, with some action on our part. Luckily for us, we don’t have thoughts and then immediately see the results of our thoughts manifested. If we did, I dare say we would all be in trouble. That would be like you thinking “mountain of gold” and then having a gold mountain appear, seemingly out of thin air, right before your eyes!

Instead, when we desire something and we continually think or meditate about that thing, we will receive some inspiration that will prompt us to take an action or actions, that will ultimately result in us obtaining that thing. Our thoughts don’t produce results without some action on our part. In other words, you can’t spend an hour of your workday each day in day-dreaming about getting that new job to just have the new job magically drop into your lap. The Law doesn't work like that. The universe requires that you be in action. The action you are prompted to take may not seem inspired at the moment of inspiration. It may seem that by coincidence, you meet the person who is in a position to get your resume into the hands of the right hiring manager. Or, you might feel the urge to make a change to your resume - - and that change will be the thing that makes the difference to the individual reviewing your submission.

We don’t dictate to the universe how or when something will manifest. We don’t choose the channels through which our desires will come. There are endless possibilities of how we might ultimately receive the things we desire. But how and when, is up to the universe to determine. Our part is to spend time meditating on the things we desire, and to take action when inspired to do so.

Our Worlds are created by our Words

Our Worlds are created by our Words. This may be a new concept to some. Others may believe this to be the truth based on their study of scriptures or of quantum physics / quantum mechanics. Regardless of where you are along this spectrum, I’d like to share the following with you.

I hold, and I believe that science bears out, that our universe is a monistic one. Simply put, everything that we know, whether it be a physical object, a sensation such as the wind, or something from the spiritual (unseen) plane, is made up of the same substance – energy. Everything that can be seen is actually made up of molecules of energy that are moving at a very rapid pace. Trees, the desk your computer sits on, clouds, the sun, ice - - all are made up of the very same substance - - it’s just vibrating at varying frequencies.

Our thoughts, too, vibrate at different frequencies. And, the frequencies we send out through our thinking and through the words we speak attract to us the things of which we are thinking / speaking. This can be farther broken down into two levels. At a macro-level, when we think thoughts that make us feel good about ourselves, we attract good things into our lives. And when we think thoughts that make us feel bad about ourselves, we attract bad things into our lives. At a micro-level, we can focus our thinking, to meditate on some goal or some thing that we want to obtain. By continually using meditation and thinking about: having achieved that thing, feeling how we will feel when we obtain that thing, and “seeing” how we will act when we obtain that thing - - we can bring about the existence of specific things into our lives.

While driving in your car, you might turn on the radio to listen to music. If you don’t like what’s on one channel, you turn the dial (or push the button) on your radio to change the frequency to which your radio is tuned. When the tuner reaches the desired frequency, you hear through your car’s speakers what is being broadcast by the radio station assigned to that frequency. If you don’t like the content, you simply change the frequency of your radio’s tuner.

In this way, we are like a radio or T.V. tuner. But, instead of projecting the content of our thoughts on a screen or speakers, the content of our thoughts shows up in our lives. How our lives look outwardly, is a direct reflection of the thoughts we have been thinking and the words we have been speaking - - with some time delay in between. Written another way, the circumstances of our lives, are a reflection of the types of thoughts (those that bring good feelings / bad feelings) we think and speak, and the things of which we think and speak.

This is the Law of Attraction (a.k.a. the Law of Faith) at work.

The Law of Attraction states that:

• Like attracts like
• What we think about, we bring about
• Thoughts become things
• Ask, Believe, & Receive (What we ask for, we then believe that we have received it, and then we will receive it.)

I realize that sounds rather simplistic. And, actually it is simple. There are other things (and other laws) that come into play when using your Faith / the Law of Attraction, such as Gratitude and Thanksgiving, and having a level of Integrity with your own word such that you have faith in what you say.

This has simply been an introduction to the basic principle of the Law of Attraction / Faith. During the remainder of this month, I will be blogging about the various attributes of this law and the things that affect its efficacy in our lives.

Please note that your comments about this blog are welcome but you must be a registered user in order to make a comment.

Our Choices Give us Power

How many times have you heard someone say (or, have you said), “S/he made me feel angry/upset/like I don’t matter!”?  Our humanity is thrown to always make another responsible for our feelings or what we get in life.  So, this may not be a popular thing to say, but the truth of the matter is: No one can ever make you feel any certain way.

You may now be thinking, “But when so-and-so said or did X, it made me feel Y.  I didn’t choose that.”  Yes, you did.  You choose the feeling you felt and you continue to choose it!

We need to understand that we are our own masters.  We choose where we go, what we do, the jobs at which we work, the people we talk to, the things we say, the feelings we feel, and the things we think in response to what others say.

We would like to make others responsible for all of these things and then we wouldn’t bear any responsibility in the matter.  Nor, would we be able to steer our own lives in the directions we want them to go.  In many ways, it’s much easier to sit back and just be at the affect of everything and everyone.  However, being at the affect of someone (or something) else isn’t a powerful place for us to stand.  Being at the affect of something actually removes all power from us.  If we don’t choose where we are or how we feel, then our feelings are given to us.  Acting out of a place of “no-choice”, gives us absolutely no power in the situation and no say-so as to the outcome.

“But,” you say, “I didn’t have a choice.”  Again, I’m going to assert that you did have a choice and that you always have a choice.  Let me demonstrate with an example from my life.

Doctors found in November 2007, that I had been born with a bicuspid aortic valve.  Simply put, I was born with two flaps on my valve instead of three.  At the same time, they found an aneurysm on my ascending aorta that was 9cm.  The aneurysm was life-threatening and would require a quick surgical response.  The valve, also, needed to be replaced as it was weakened and was allowing blood to flow back into my heart.  The choice I was given was to have open-heart surgery to replace the malformed valve and to repair the section of the aorta where the aneurysm was.  I chose to have the surgery. 

You might be thinking now that I had no choice in the situation.  I had every choice.  I could choose to have the surgery or I could choose to not have the surgery.  One might argue that surgery was my only choice if I wanted to live.  That may be true.  However, don’t get the likely outcome of a choice confused with the choice itself.

I chose to have a surgery where my ribcage was cut and then spread open, my heart and lungs were stopped and my body put on life support machines, my core body temperature was taken down to 15 degrees (F), and I had my valve replaced with a mechanical valve and the aneurysm repaired.  Any part of that surgery had a certain percentage chance of going wrong.  And I had some percent chance of dying on the table.

My choice to have surgery had nothing to do with the outcome of the surgery.  Arguing that I would have most likely died without the surgery is a valid argument.  Arguing that I could die during the surgery is also a valid argument.  It doesn’t matter in life if you only have one option given to you in a circumstance.  You still have a choice.  You can choose the option that is before you or you can not choose that option.  The choice is yours - - and it is a choice!  To have your life’s actions and feelings not be your choice is the most un-empowering position you could ever take.

If I live my life at the affect of others, I have no power.  I simply wait around for the next interaction so that my feelings can be given to me.  Once I have them, then I know how I feel!  On the other hand, if I choose how I’m going to feel, prior to any interaction with another, I am not swayed by the thoughts, emotions, or words of others.  Instead, I choose my own happiness.  I don’t have to wait for someone else to come along and give happiness to me.

I have a simple request with today’s blog:  Re-read this blog until the message sinks in.  Then, choose powerfully, to have what you have.  Don’t choose to be a victim and don’t choose to be at the affect of others.  Instead, make yourself responsible for choosing your own feelings and choosing your destiny.

Our Interactions are Shaped by our Perceptions

Perception is one of the tools of communication we have which allows us broader access and insight to the true feelings of those around us. 

We sometimes overlook the power of perception in our daily lives but it absolutely shapes the color of our interactions with others, the quality of our lives, and our willingness to take action on behalf of another.

We all have powers of perception when it comes to “reading” others.  We perceive people to be upset, to be dangerous, to be lighthearted and fun to be around, and to be serious and void of humor.  These perceptions come from others physiological (body) language (standing with open or crossed arms, smiling or frowning, eyes are bright or eyes are glazed, etc.) as well as their tones of voices and inflections of speech more so than in the actual words that they say.

While perception is a valuable tool for us to use in our communications with others, there is a particular trap we often fall into when it comes to perception.  Let’s say that you’re meeting someone for the first time.  It’s been said that first impressions are the most important.  Why do you think that might be?

When we meet someone for the first time, we file away general information about that person in our memory.  Most of us will at least remember the person’s face.  Some will remember the person’s face and their name.  But all of us will remember what we perceived about that person.  We will remember if we liked them.  We will remember what kinds of signals they were sending with their physiological language and other non-verbals - - and by these we will remember if they were enjoyable to be around and whether or not we felt that they liked us.  We will remember if we were offended by anything they said.  And so on, and so on…..

The trap that this creates for us is that we begin to “know” that person by what we remembered from our first encounter.  That’s not to say that those impressions cannot be changed over time.  However, the next time we are in the company of that person, we choose the words we speak, the information we share, and convey back our overall feelings about that individual based upon our past perceptions of the person.

This trap, however, isn’t reserved for people we’ve just met.  It also interferes with people we’ve known for a long time. 

People can and do change.  And, people transform.  My perception about my supervisor at work might be that he isn’t sympathetic to others when they are sick.  He’s never sick and he doesn’t have empathy for others when they are.  However, let’s say that he eats some tainted shell-fish one Friday night and he becomes very sick.  By Monday, he’s recovered enough to return to work and he can hide the fact that he’s been ill.  Neither I, nor any of my fellow employees, know that our boss was sick over the weekend.  Now, unbeknownst to any of us, through his own experience, my boss has developed an empathy for others when they are sick.  But since I don’t know that, I still relate to him as if he were a tyrant when it relates to illness. 

The following Wednesday, I wake up really sick with a stomach flu.  I go to pick up the phone and call my boss but all I can think about is how he has related to me in the past when I was sick and how difficult this is going to be for me to call out of work.  I try to think of other excuses.  I try to determine if I can push through this and make it.  This whole time, I am operating in the trap known as “preconceived notions” as given by the perceptions I have about my boss in the area of sickness.  I’ve gotten myself so worked up that I’ve gone over what our verbal exchange might be when I call in and talk to him.

Finally, feeling that I’m armed as well as can be, I call my boss to inform him that I will be out of work that day due to illness.  He thanks me for calling and tells me that he hopes I get to feeling better soon.  “What?!!!?!,” I think as I hang up the phone.  That wasn’t my boss.  I proceed to ponder over it for awhile and then chalk-it-up as a one time thing.  I continue to relate to my boss as an uncaring, unsympathetic human being.

That is an example of the trap of perception at work.  If we only relate to others as we “know” them to be, we never leave room for them to change, grow, or transform.  They can only “be” who we perceived them to be.  And, in our worlds, once they do change, we don’t see it because we’re never looking for it.  We’re only looking for the evidence of what we “know” to be true about them.  And, we will always find the evidence we are looking for to support our assumptions / perceptions about others. 

In order to compensate for this “trap of perception”, we must give up, anew, our previous perceptions about a person each time that we interact with him or her.  Only then, do we allow another the space s/he needs to be fully self-expressed as who s/he is, in the present.

Our Worlds are shaped by our Perspectives

Perspective is a very powerful thing.  Our moods are given to us by the perspectives we assume.  Our thoughts, our feelings, and our actions are all driven by the perspectives from which we choose to live our lives.

We sometimes overlook the power of perspective in our daily lives.  But, it is the absolute framework for the quality of our lives.  Our perspectives determine our willingness to take action in any given situation.  If we believe we are unbreakable, our perspective will lead us to take risks, ask for things that others won’t, and attempt things that others may shy away from.  If we believe ourselves to be broken, our perspective will keep us from easily making friends, prevent us from requesting anything from another for which the answer might be “no”, and stop us from taking any action at which we might ultimately fail.

We must make every effort to vigilantly remember:  the perspectives we assume provide the context for which the content of our lives shows up. 

As an example, if you have the perspective that you are unlovable, the only context in which people can show up for you is in a space of unloving.  In that space of unloving, any given person’s actions will be used to prove to yourself that you are incapable of being loved - - regardless of how benign the action might have been.  [Remember: We always find proof of what we’re looking for.  If we’re looking for proof that people are dangerous, we will always find proof of it in their words and actions.  If we’re looking for proof that people are loving, we will always find proof of that in their words and actions.]

Last week I needed to be at a specific place at a specific time.  I left the house late.  As I was driving, I became very aware of my thoughts and feelings.  I was tense.  I was irritable.  I was in an upset and everyone else who was driving in my path was doing so incorrectly.  I was making all of the driving actions they took about me.  If someone pulled into my lane ahead of me, they were inconsiderate and oblivious to the fact that I was in a hurry.  Quickly, I regained consciousness and choose a new reality - - a new perspective.  I thought:

When I believe that I’m going to be late, I get upset and everything that happens is wrong…..it’s like the world’s conspiring against me.  However, if I didn’t have to be anywhere at a specific time and I were just out running errands, everything would be great and the actions that other drivers took would (of course) not be about me.  In fact, they would be of little consequence to me.

I didn’t take the perspective that I wasn’t going to be late.  I was pretty certain that I would be and lying to myself about that would not be the best solution.  Instead, I said to myself, “OK, I’m going to be late.  There is nothing I can do to change that.  All I can do is communicate my impending lateness to the party concerned and allow myself to be with the fact that I will be late.”  Hurrying, driving recklessly fast or taking risks in my car where not actions that I wanted to take.  Instead, I simply allowed myself to be with the fact that I would be late and I was able to easily switch gears back to a “running errands” type of driving mood - - no hurry, nothing wrong, no irritability.  

You choose what you want in life.  No one chooses that for you.  Don’t get into a rut of thinking that you’ve been given your perspectives in life.  You may have had certain influences (such as your parents or guardians) in your life, but you chose the perspectives by which you live your life.  And you now have the power to freely choose different perspectives - - ones that empower you to live your best life.