Consider that people only know you as who you say you are. That should stop some of us in our tracks right there! I can almost hear a simultaneous gasp from all of our self-deprecators as they think, “but if I don’t make fun of myself, someone else will and that hurts me worse.” Certainly, poking fun at one’s self can be humorous and set others at ease. But, if you lived your life as if people only knew you as who you say you are, I’m asserting that your self-deprecation would occur differently – both for you and for others. The words themselves would be different. And others would respond differently.
In truth, we create the conditions into which we live, by our words and our choices. We make choices every day and we fail to call them for what they are. We like to tell others that we had no choice. Or, we say that this is my only choice. But, that’s absolutely not true. You can choose that which is before you, or you can simply not choose it. In some eyes that would occur as not choosing at all, which is of course, in itself a choice.
However, the power at stake here is not simply found through some slight of hand with semantics. The real power of choice that is available to you, is in you choosing powerfully what it is you desire. And if there is only one choice, the real power is in choosing what there is to choose, or choosing to not choose. In any of those paths, you will have chosen. You will have made the decision. And because you chose powerfully, you are in control of the outcome of that choice.
This is a much more powerful place to stand – being in control of the outcome of the choice – rather than being at the effect of the given choice after not choosing. If you do not choose, you will always find yourself at the effect of the un-chosen choice. That’s not wrong. And it will certainly get you sympathy and pity if that is what you are after. It’s not that one way is right and the other wrong. It is simply that choosing places you in a position to do something about the consequences of the choice. If you never choose, you can never win because you will always be steamrolled by the consequences of not choosing!