30 September, 2009

Are You Being "Should" Upon?

Sometimes life can seem like it’s coming at us very quickly.  When it does, our natural state of peace, play, and ease becomes disrupted and we allow in other things to occupy those spaces such as worry/concern, stress, frustration, and even dis-ease.

Notice that last one?  Dis-ease is really the preeminent reason for any sickness that comes into your body.  Any sign of dis-ease is a sign that you are not in alignment with what is happening in your life.  If this dis-ease is not dealt with as quickly as possible, it can lead to chronic stress, illness, and other things.

When I notice dis-ease in myself, the very first place that I look is inward.  I ask myself something to the effect of “what should be different?”  Typically, that will bring my attention to whatever it is that is causing the distress.  Sometimes I feel that I should be doing something other than the thing I am doing in the moment.  That might be a belief that I put on myself or it might be a feeling that I get from someone else.

For me, this dis-ease is commonplace whenever I take any kind of break.  When I ask my question (“what do I feel distressed about?”), I usually get back an answer like, “I feel that I should be working,” or, “I should be working out,” or, “I believe that so-and-so thinks I should be … (fill in the blank)!”  When you look at these responses, you can readily see that they all contain “should” or some form of “should” in them.

The word “should” is just as dangerous for us as comparison is.  Just like when you compare yourself to others for either the purpose of feeling better about yourself or making yourself feel “less than”, should statements always leave us with a feeling of “less than.”  We “should on ourselves,” we “should on others,” and we also allow others to “should all over us!”  Really, the only thing that we should do is banish the word “should” from our vocabularies!

If we remove “should” from our self-defeating inward talk and if we discontinue using the word “should” with others, we can create a better space for ourselves and others to live more freely with what we believe would be the best use of our time, energy, and efforts at any given moment.

The next time that a “should” comes up for you (or, in other words, the next time you feel “should upon”) ask yourself where that “should” is coming from and why it is there.  I would venture a guess that it’s there because of some concern or list of concerns that you have.  Possibly you’re concerned about how others will perceive you if you don’t do what you think they feel you should do.  Regardless of where the “should” is coming from, look at your concerns and simply ask yourself, one-by-one, if you can give up each of those concerns?  Once you confirm that you can, ask yourself if you will give up each of those concerns?  Again, once you’ve answered in the affirmative, and you’ve given up that self-defeating “should-talk,” you’ll find that your body is restored to its natural state of peace, play, and ease.

Copyright ©2009.  All rights reserved.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Ratings and Recommendations by outbrain