tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-87956726098051774372024-02-20T18:32:31.496-08:00Transformational ThinkingBlogging inspirational thoughts, insights, and strategies for living your best life possible. We all have within us the ability to be great. But, our greatness is only manifested through our actions. I believe that we are all created perfect and complete exactly as we are. However, we experience blockages to our perfection - - and these blockages can be transformed by subtle shifts in our thinking, thus transforming our ways of being, our health, our actions, and our reactions.Brian Keithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17652813417780059053noreply@blogger.comBlogger77125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8795672609805177437.post-76122914434691544892011-04-07T18:10:00.000-07:002011-04-07T18:10:14.346-07:00Creating an Enduring Relationship<style>
<!-- /* Font Definitions */ @font-face {font-family:Wingdings; panose-1:5 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0; mso-font-charset:2; mso-generic-font-family:auto; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:0 268435456 0 0 -2147483648 0;} /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:Arial; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} h3 {mso-style-next:Normal; margin-top:12.0pt; margin-right:0in; margin-bottom:3.0pt; margin-left:0in; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; page-break-after:avoid; mso-outline-level:3; font-size:13.0pt; font-family:Arial; font-weight:bold;} p {mso-margin-top-alt:auto; margin-right:0in; mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto; margin-left:0in; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} /* List Definitions */ @list l0 {mso-list-id:1741246305; mso-list-type:hybrid; mso-list-template-ids:-493476428 67698689 67698691 67698693 67698689 67698691 67698693 67698689 67698691 67698693;} @list l0:level1 {mso-level-number-format:bullet; mso-level-text:•; mso-level-tab-stop:.5in; mso-level-number-position:left; text-indent:-.25in; font-family:Symbol;} ol {margin-bottom:0in;} ul {margin-bottom:0in;} -->
</style> <div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> <div class="summary">During my Christmas vacation this past year, I was engaged in a conversation with my oldest niece. In the course of that conversation she informed me that she was not going to get married. When I asked why, she told me that it was because “fifty percent of all marriages (in America) end in divorce” and went on to explain that she had no interest in becoming part of the divorce-rate statistic. I shared with her my perspective that she could get married and not add to the divorce statistic. Implying that I didn’t understand her point-of-view, she asserted the significance of the statistics previously cited.</div></div><o:p></o:p><br />
<div class="restofpost"><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">It may be of help for you to know that she and I entered this conversation with very different personal backgrounds. My parents have been married almost fifty years and remain happily together. But my niece’s parents divorced several years ago and she has been subject to, and a witness of, the pain, emotional turmoil, and heartache that this decision has had on her parents, her sister, and herself.<br />
<br />
Since that original conversation, I’ve replayed it many times over in my head. And I’ve wondered how this (statistic) could be viewed differently and how I might be able to make a difference for her. Is there another, possibly more powerful, point-of-view from which we might view these astounding statistics?<br />
<br />
Over this past weekend, I awoke to a thought that I now view as the answer to this question. And I believe that this concept holds a powerful perspective from which we can all learn so that we might make better choices in those we choose as significant others and even as friends. The thought to which I awakened was to “marry someone whom you don’t want to change.” The concept sounds simple enough and it’s certainly easy to say. But I believe that we all fall prey, at one time or another, to this hazardous, slippery-slope. <br />
<br />
When I awoke with this thought, I began to think back over my partnership. Next month I will be celebrating my 13-year anniversary with my significant other. Most couples experience their first major difficulties around the two-year mark of being together. The first year or two of relationships are often referred to as “the honeymoon phase” because partners are generally still enchanted with one another during this time. However, around the two-year mark, partners generally begin to view each other from a more realistic point-of-view. <br />
<br />
Behavior or habits once viewed as cute or entertaining, many times becomes annoying to us. We begin to start recommending “small” changes to the other and suggesting how he could better himself! Your girlfriend’s consistent behavior of being 15 minutes late is no longer viewed as her taking care of herself or wanting to look good for you. Instead, it now takes on new meaning, such as a lack of respect for you and your time or a lack of time-management skills. Your husband’s behavior of leaving his clothes wherever they fall when he removes them from his body may have once been viewed as carefree. Now, the same behavior becomes an anathema to you who likes to have a tidy home and feels the responsibility to clean up after him. <br />
<br />
To borrow a popular American colloquial phrase, this is where the “rubber meets the road.” The hard work of a relationship only starts when you begin to see what you may view as flaws in your partner. After all, no one has a difficult time relating to another when the two are in total agreement. It’s only in discord, or in differing points-of-view that we find we need to walk in grace with one another. Only when we can find the grace to allow another to be who he is without requesting, or even desiring, that he change behaviors or habits will we find that we have the capacity to love another unconditionally. This is what it takes to stay together for “the long haul.”<br />
<br />
Of course I’m not suggesting that anyone stay in a relationship where there is physical or emotional abuse or where another’s actions threaten our well-being in any way. However, outside of these types of circumstances, the ability to create a lasting relationship that works comes down to our individual abilities to accept another exactly as he is, and exactly as he isn’t. This requires that we adopt a new perspective for our relationships—one where we view nothing as missing or in disrepair.</div>[End of Post] <o:p></o:p> <div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">Copyright ©2011. All rights reserved.</span></div></div>Brian Keithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17652813417780059053noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8795672609805177437.post-12212799756347021822011-01-28T12:34:00.000-08:002011-01-28T12:34:55.951-08:00Part II: Obtaining Your Goals (Meeting Your Resolutions)<style>
<!-- /* Font Definitions */ @font-face {font-family:Wingdings; panose-1:5 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0; mso-font-charset:2; mso-generic-font-family:auto; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:0 268435456 0 0 -2147483648 0;} /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:Arial; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} h3 {mso-style-next:Normal; margin-top:12.0pt; margin-right:0in; margin-bottom:3.0pt; margin-left:0in; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; page-break-after:avoid; mso-outline-level:3; font-size:13.0pt; font-family:Arial; font-weight:bold;} p {mso-margin-top-alt:auto; margin-right:0in; mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto; margin-left:0in; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} /* List Definitions */ @list l0 {mso-list-id:1741246305; mso-list-type:hybrid; mso-list-template-ids:-493476428 67698689 67698691 67698693 67698689 67698691 67698693 67698689 67698691 67698693;} @list l0:level1 {mso-level-number-format:bullet; mso-level-text:•; mso-level-tab-stop:.5in; mso-level-number-position:left; text-indent:-.25in; font-family:Symbol;} ol {margin-bottom:0in;} ul {margin-bottom:0in;} -->
</style> <div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> <div class="summary">In last week’s blog, I wrote about obtaining your goals/meeting your resolutions by putting structures in place to support you in the areas where you find yourself to be weakest in respect to will power and motivation. In this week’s blog, I’m continuing to write about obtaining your goals, but doing so by applying another method, reframing, on top of the structures you’ve already put in place. </div></div><o:p></o:p> <br />
<div class="restofpost"><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">The idea of reframing is not new to many. In fact, it’s used quite a bit by psychologists, therapists, and those who practice neuro-linguistic programming. And, the concept of reframing is simple enough for anyone to use in everyday life. Here, of course, I will be writing about using it for the purpose of obtaining your goals.<br />
<br />
The simplest way to break down the concept of reframing is to look at it as “putting a new spin on a familiar concept.” We automatically reframe certain things in our lives – like changing our concept about someone whom we thought we would not like and then coming to find out that we have a lot in common with that individual. When we have the new realization, we naturally place that individual into a different category in our minds – a category that includes people we like. As we grow up, many of us reframe ideas about the foods we like and dislike, altering our perceptions to coincide with the altering of our tastebuds. So, the process of reframing is not new to any of us, and in fact, is used by all of us – albeit not always as a conscious act.<br />
<br />
However, you can utilize this process consciously to help in obtaining your goals. For example, if you were working on developing a new habit of exercising every day, at some point (or at several points), you might be tempted to not go to the gym and your mind may automatically begin to think about all of the things you’re giving up in order to workout. You may think about how nice it would be to just be able to sit and relax in front of the T.V., to sit down and read a good book, or even to be able to run errands during that time rather than losing your personal down-time. This is where you can use reframing to your advantage. To reframe this, you can simply turn your thinking around to look at what you’re gaining instead of what you’re giving up.<br />
<br />
When you think about all of the things you’re giving up, you’re fighting an up-hill mental battle that’s going to be difficult for you to win. Giving in to that mentality for even one day isn’t an option when you’re creating a new habit. You must be successful for 21-30 days consecutively in order to instill your new habit. Therefore, you need to change your thinking, choosing to concentrate your thoughts on what you are achieving, or what you’ll obtain, by continuing to exercise. Look at what you’ve visualized as the end-result of you obtaining that goal, whether it’s a healthier body, a slimmer body, or a body that’s capable of doing more than it has in the past. <br />
<br />
Instill in yourself the habit of thinking about your goal, or its benefits, first thing in the morning before you get out of bed. And instill the same habit as the last thing you think about at night before you go to bed. Reward yourself, mentally, each night by complementing yourself for achieving your goal that day and adding another successful day to your new habit. Before long, with the proper structures in place and a bit of reframing to remind yourself of what you’re getting vs. what you’re giving up, you’ll find that you’ve successfully instilled, as a habit, your new resolution.<br />
</div>[End of Post] <o:p></o:p> <div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">Copyright ©2011. All rights reserved.</span></div></div>Brian Keithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17652813417780059053noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8795672609805177437.post-9187077613661837792011-01-19T15:52:00.000-08:002011-01-19T15:52:36.826-08:00Part I: Obtaining Your Goals (Meeting Your Resolutions)<style>
<!-- /* Font Definitions */ @font-face {font-family:Wingdings; panose-1:5 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0; mso-font-charset:2; mso-generic-font-family:auto; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:0 268435456 0 0 -2147483648 0;} /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:Arial; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} h3 {mso-style-next:Normal; margin-top:12.0pt; margin-right:0in; margin-bottom:3.0pt; margin-left:0in; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; page-break-after:avoid; mso-outline-level:3; font-size:13.0pt; font-family:Arial; font-weight:bold;} p {mso-margin-top-alt:auto; margin-right:0in; mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto; margin-left:0in; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} /* List Definitions */ @list l0 {mso-list-id:1741246305; mso-list-type:hybrid; mso-list-template-ids:-493476428 67698689 67698691 67698693 67698689 67698691 67698693 67698689 67698691 67698693;} @list l0:level1 {mso-level-number-format:bullet; mso-level-text:•; mso-level-tab-stop:.5in; mso-level-number-position:left; text-indent:-.25in; font-family:Symbol;} ol {margin-bottom:0in;} ul {margin-bottom:0in;} -->
</style> <div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> <div class="summary">As we are now over midway into the first month of the new year, I suspect that many who made New Year’s Resolutions have already been tempted to give up on their goals at least once or twice. It’s no easy task to form a new habit – especially one that requires work and dedication. Because of this, I’m writing this two-part blog about reaching your goals. These blogs apply to any goal that one sets – not just New Year’s Resolutions.</div></div><o:p></o:p><br />
<div class="restofpost"><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Researchers tell us that forming a new habit takes daily implementation of that practice for a period of 15 – 21 days while some believe that more lasting results are the result of a 28-day repetition of that new practice. Whatever the true number is for you, I think it’s safe to say that in order to succeed in repeating a new behavior daily for 15 – 28 days takes much more than just pure will power!<br />
<br />
Most of us are driven to our goals because of our own desires for change – whether that’s related to a specific trait or characteristic we want to develop or the result of being fed-up with the way our lives or bodies look. Regardless of the reason(s) we want to change, it’s not a lack of discipline which ultimately determines whether or not we reach our objective of creating a new habit or behavior. Instead, I’d like for you to consider that your success or failure is ultimately the result of the structures that you put in place to support your new habit. And, the lack of structures, or lack of adequate structures, is was precipitates not achieving that goal.<br />
<br />
So, what is a structure? A structure is anything (e.g. process, system, support person) that you put in place in order to help you achieve your goals. People who succeed in their endeavors aren’t simply stronger-willed than you or even more dedicated or ambitious. People who succeed are those who have learned their limitations and are honest with themselves when it comes to knowing what they will or won’t do of their own accord. Successful people look at the areas in which they are weak and put support structures in place in order to aid them in overcoming those areas of weakness.<br />
<br />
As an example, let’s say that you’ve decided to change your nutrition program. And, the parts of that change that will be difficult for you are: (1) giving up sweets, (2) not eating processed foods, and (3) eating every two hours of your waking day. In order to support your goal, your structures should be put in place prior to the first day of your new routine. Some of the support structures that you could put in place might be: (1) going through your kitchen and giving away (or getting rid of) all foods that have sugar in them, any sweeteners, and any processed foods, (2) talking to those who live with you (or are closest to you) about your goal, why you want to achieve it, and making a request of them to ask you specific questions or use specific wording to support you when you are feeling weak and wanting to give in or quit, & (3) adding reminders to your calendar to eat at your specific 2-hour intervals of every day. You may even find that to ultimately be successful you need to prepare your foods a day in advance or even on the weekends in advance of the week. <br />
<br />
Ultimately, finding the structures that will support you through the areas in which you know yourself to be weakest will be the foremost thing you can do to ensure success for your new behavior. And to accomplish the act of getting the appropriate structures in place, you must begin with being honest about what you will or will not do on your own. Honestly take a look at the areas where you feel weak. Also, take a look at what has caused you to fail to obtain goals in your past. Then put structures in place around these areas in order to support you for the first 30 days of your new routine. After that, your structures may be altered or dropped altogether, depending on how well you are doing at that time. <br />
<br />
Next week, I’ll be posting Part II of obtaining your goals. But don’t wait until then to re-establish your broken resolutions. Support structures will carry you through the majority of any issues that you will face in achieving your new habit or behavior. So be brave and resolute in seeing your newly desired habit reinstated. In the wise words of Mary Pickford, “…this thing we call ‘failure’ is not the falling down, but the staying down.”</div>[End of Post] <o:p></o:p> <div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">Copyright ©2011. All rights reserved.</span></div></div>Brian Keithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17652813417780059053noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8795672609805177437.post-36818315603650962102011-01-03T15:38:00.000-08:002011-01-03T15:40:10.820-08:00A New Kind of Christmas<style>
<!-- /* Font Definitions */ @font-face {font-family:Wingdings; panose-1:5 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0; mso-font-charset:2; mso-generic-font-family:auto; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:0 268435456 0 0 -2147483648 0;} /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:Arial; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} h3 {mso-style-next:Normal; margin-top:12.0pt; margin-right:0in; margin-bottom:3.0pt; margin-left:0in; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; page-break-after:avoid; mso-outline-level:3; font-size:13.0pt; font-family:Arial; font-weight:bold;} p {mso-margin-top-alt:auto; margin-right:0in; mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto; margin-left:0in; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} /* List Definitions */ @list l0 {mso-list-id:1741246305; mso-list-type:hybrid; mso-list-template-ids:-493476428 67698689 67698691 67698693 67698689 67698691 67698693 67698689 67698691 67698693;} @list l0:level1 {mso-level-number-format:bullet; mso-level-text:•; mso-level-tab-stop:.5in; mso-level-number-position:left; text-indent:-.25in; font-family:Symbol;} ol {margin-bottom:0in;} ul {margin-bottom:0in;} -->
</style> <div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><div class="summary">There I was, sitting in the family room of my parent’s home on Christmas Eve, surrounded by my mom, dad, brother, sister-in-law, sister, nieces, and nephews, and I realized that something was drastically different this year. All week long, my mind had only been on squeezing the most out of my time with my family that I could. It hadn’t even dawned on me that I was different – but different I was. In fact, it was the first Christmas in my life for which I no longer cared about receiving a single gift. The meaning of Christmas had somehow changed for me and it wasn’t until that night, while opening my presents and watching the others in my family open theirs, that this realization actually sank in.</div></div><div class="restofpost"><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p><br />
I remembered that it was just last year before the Christmas holiday that I was admitting to my partner how self-centered and selfish I had always felt around this time of year. I truly loved to give presents but it was equally important to me to receive them! And, my expectations were always so high, that I had never failed to be disappointed. It was a way of being, that I had, in which I was not proud of myself and desperately wanted to change but didn’t know how.<br />
<br />
At this point, I should add that I had embarked on a journey of self-healing over this last year – actually beginning in mid-2009 – but picking up a quicker and more intentional pace beginning in January of 2010. I was traveling the country to study and learn different techniques of healing and was applying them both in practice on others as well as myself. One such technique that I learned and used extensively on myself and others was The LifeLine Technique. The LifeLine Technique focuses on emotions (from our past – emotions that we’ve denied, disconnected from, or repressed) as the root of physical and emotional ailments and discomforts. Using this technique, I was able to locate and interpret several issues such as repressed emotions and self-limiting beliefs that I had held, and release them so that they no longer affected my present or future outlook on life.<br />
<br />
It must have been a result of this work that I did which led me to be able to transform in such a way that I didn’t even realize the transformation had occurred. After all, that is the way that transformation works. It’s not like changing a behavior where one has to consciously train himself to act or behave differently than he always has in the past. Instead, transformation changes one from the inside out so that when you act in relation to events, you are no longer reacting from a subconscious pattern of behavior that is meant to protect you. But instead, you are now simply acting out a part of you that you have always had inside of you, but that was suppressed due to reactive patterns that were in place.<br />
<br />
As part of this journey of self-discovery and healing, I had also spent quite a bit of time focusing on how my expectations in life always let me down. And while I firmly believe in expecting good things to come my way, I was also wrestling with the idea of letting go of certain expectations that I seemed to continuously have of others. At the end of my internal struggle with this idea, I came to a place where I was able to continue having expectations of others (expectations like having integrity, keeping one’s word, etc.) and also able to let go of the same when I saw that my expectations were not met (or were not going to be met). In other words, I feel like I found a balance of a place where I could have expectations for the things in life that really mattered, not have them for those things that didn’t matter in the larger scope of life, and the ability to let go of expectations that I had when I saw they would not be met. <br />
<br />
Learning to let go was probably the biggest challenge for me and yet the most rewarding one. Once I realized that I was always left in upset by not letting go of my unmet expectations, and knowing that I was committed to not living a life of upset, the solution became obvious – give up any unmet expectation(s), thereby allowing me freedom to not live in upset with others. <br />
<br />
I suppose it was a combination of all of these things, and putting these learned-lessons into practice that has led me to be even more available to no longer have expectations for those things in life, which in the grand scope of things, really do not matter. Expecting nothing for Christmas was an added bonus for me and evidence of the hard work that I had put into transforming this area of my life. <br />
<br />
Being able to enjoy my family-time at Christmas this year was the biggest blessing I could have had. Not only was I able to feel truly appreciative for what I did receive, but I was able to enjoy my family on a whole different level, and allow the true spirit of Christmas to show through me, and to be fully felt by me.</div>[End of Post] <o:p></o:p> <div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">Copyright ©2011. All rights reserved.</span></div></div>Brian Keithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17652813417780059053noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8795672609805177437.post-83459927365662366162010-09-12T14:47:00.000-07:002010-09-12T14:54:02.275-07:00Mastering The Game of Life<style>
<!-- /* Font Definitions */ @font-face {font-family:Wingdings; panose-1:5 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0; mso-font-charset:2; mso-generic-font-family:auto; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:0 268435456 0 0 -2147483648 0;} /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:Arial; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} h3 {mso-style-next:Normal; margin-top:12.0pt; margin-right:0in; margin-bottom:3.0pt; margin-left:0in; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; page-break-after:avoid; mso-outline-level:3; font-size:13.0pt; font-family:Arial; font-weight:bold;} p {mso-margin-top-alt:auto; margin-right:0in; mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto; margin-left:0in; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} /* List Definitions */ @list l0 {mso-list-id:1741246305; mso-list-type:hybrid; mso-list-template-ids:-493476428 67698689 67698691 67698693 67698689 67698691 67698693 67698689 67698691 67698693;} @list l0:level1 {mso-level-number-format:bullet; mso-level-text:•; mso-level-tab-stop:.5in; mso-level-number-position:left; text-indent:-.25in; font-family:Symbol;} ol {margin-bottom:0in;} ul {margin-bottom:0in;} -->
</style> <br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">One of my favorite authors and teachers, Dr. Darren R. Weissman, included in his first book, The Power of Infinite Love & Gratitude, what he has called the 9 Rules to Mastering the Game of Life. Following, I share these 9 Rules to Mastering the Game of Life along with a direct quote of Dr. Weissman’s from each. If you enjoy these and would like to learn more, please check out <a href="http://drdarrenweissman.com/?a_aid=B_Keith">Dr. Weissman’s website</a> and/or "like" his <a href="http://www.facebook.com/pages/Dr-Darren-Weissman/341269881099">Facebook page</a> where he has housed videos related to each of these 9 Rules.<br />
<br />
<b>Rule #1: The Universe Is Infinite </b><br />
<br />
Here, Dr. Weissman writes, “This view is magnified infinitely by the core truth that you’re a spiritual being having a human-being experience. By be-ing, you experience the infinite essence and wonder of life."<br />
<br />
<b>Rule #2: You have free will; a choice with every experience.</b> <br />
<br />
“The act of 'being' is a choice to stay connected to the moment, no matter how difficult it may be. This is living in Present Time Consciousness. When you practice this, you awaken to the stream of consciousness and flow of thoughts that are always present within your mind.”<br />
<br />
<b>Rule #3: Everything is interconnected. For every choice that you make, there will be a consequence.</b><br />
<br />
Dr. Weissman writes, “The LifeLine Law of Transformation and Creation states: ‘Emotions transform energy; energy creates movement; movement is change; and changes is the essence of life.’ As a result of change, you experience life.” He also writes, “It’s by taking responsibility for your choices that you experience the flow of life and the greatest opportunities for growth.”<br />
<br />
<b>Rule #4: Judgment is prohibited.</b><br />
<br />
“Judgment is the lack of Present Time Consciousness (PTC). It’s a reaction based on preconceived notions about a person, race, religion, gender, nationality, and so forth. Living in PTC – embracing your intuition, feelings, and beliefs, facilitates your ability to transcend judgment and make the best choices.”<br />
<br />
<b>Rule #5: The greatest power is self-love.</b><br />
<br />
“Unconditional acceptance, forgiveness, and letting go are essential to unleashing the infinite power of self-love.” “Self-love is the process of self-discovery – acknowledging, honoring, and releasing the parts of yourself that you’ve subconsciously internalized, denied, and disconnected from.”<br />
“The greatest adversary to self-love is fear. Resisting change because you’re afraid of losing your identity keeps this emotion alive.” <br />
<br />
<b>Rule #6: You’ll experience pain, fear, and challenges.</b><br />
<br />
“Throughout history, the greatest accomjplishments have been achieved through determination, persistence, blood, sweat, and tears. Everyone experiences pain, fear, and challenges. It’s the choices you make when faced with difficult situations that empower you to transform them into an opportunity for growth. Embracing this rule is vital to living a life without judgment.”<br />
<br />
<b>Rule #7: Embrace life with the attitude of gratitude.</b><br />
<br />
“The attitude that you have toward any experience is a choice. You can always view the cup as being half full or half empty, but the most courageous way to move through life is by choosing to find the good in every instant. Rather than surrendering to emotions of negativity and despair, consciously and creatively embrace life with the attitude of gratitude.”<br />
<br />
<b>Rule #8: Take responsibility for your life.</b><br />
<br />
“…symptoms or challenges are your life’s way of telling you to take responsibility.”<br />
“Taking responsibility means that you’ll make the choice to maintain Present Time Consciousness, despite the circumstances. It signifies that you won’t judge the consequences of your choices, but rather learn from them. By opting to take responsibility for your life, you’ll be inclined to embrace your experiences with the attitude of gratitude.”<br />
<br />
<b>Rule #9: Life has meaning.</b><br />
<br />
“Turn on the news and you’ll hear about war, genocide, political upheaval, scandals, poverty, starvation, racism, pollution…” “Can you imagine if life didn’t have meaning and all these crises were occurring just ‘because’? This is our wake-up call! Life is painful, yet there’s value in pain. Life is scary, yet there’s meaning in fear. Life is challenging, yet every challenge is an opportunity. We need to ask the question Why? and be willing to hear the answer.”<br />
<br />
If you’ve enjoyed these brief excerpts of Dr. Weissman’s “Mastering The Game of Life,” I encourage you to fully read his books, “The Power of Infinite Love & Gratitude” and “Awakening to the Secret Code of Your Mind.”<br />
[End of Post]<br />
<br />
<o:p></o:p> <br />
<div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">Copyright ©2010. All rights reserved.</span></div></div>Brian Keithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17652813417780059053noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8795672609805177437.post-62589193001765255722010-06-24T03:25:00.000-07:002010-06-24T03:25:32.764-07:00My OWN Talk Show<style>
<a href="http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#%21/pages/Help-Me-Get-6MM-Votes-to-Get-on-Oprahs-Reality-Show/133252540026174">this link</a>
<!-- /* Font Definitions */ @font-face {font-family:Wingdings; panose-1:5 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0; mso-font-charset:2; mso-generic-font-family:auto; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:0 268435456 0 0 -2147483648 0;} /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:Arial; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} h3 {mso-style-next:Normal; margin-top:12.0pt; margin-right:0in; margin-bottom:3.0pt; margin-left:0in; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; page-break-after:avoid; mso-outline-level:3; font-size:13.0pt; font-family:Arial; font-weight:bold;} p {mso-margin-top-alt:auto; margin-right:0in; mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto; margin-left:0in; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} /* List Definitions */ @list l0 {mso-list-id:1741246305; mso-list-type:hybrid; mso-list-template-ids:-493476428 67698689 67698691 67698693 67698689 67698691 67698693 67698689 67698691 67698693;} @list l0:level1 {mso-level-number-format:bullet; mso-level-text:•; mso-level-tab-stop:.5in; mso-level-number-position:left; text-indent:-.25in; font-family:Symbol;} ol {margin-bottom:0in;} ul {margin-bottom:0in;} -->
</style> <br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><div class="summary">I'm requesting your help in getting me selected as a finalist for Oprah's "My OWN Talk Show" reality contest. Click on the following link to see my video submission for my talk show idea and to vote for me: <a href="http://myown.oprah.com/audition/index.html?request=video_details&response_id=13167&promo_id=1">My Video Submission / Vote</a>. <br />
<br />
You can vote more than once. I'm requesting that you vote at least once for me every day until the contest is over. The contest ends on July 3rd. Since I just submitted my video, I have little time to obtain votes.<br />
<br />
I would sincerely appreciate you telling others about my request and asking them to vote for me as well. You can also link to my voting page via Facebook by clicking on <a href="http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#%21/pages/Help-Me-Get-6MM-Votes-to-Get-on-Oprahs-Reality-Show/133252540026174">this link</a>. By clicking on the "Suggest To Friends" link under my picture, you can send this request to your friends on Facebook. You can also click on the "Like It" link in order to link to the page on your wall.<br />
<br />
Thank you for your help in making a dream of mine come true. <br />
<br />
Peace and Blessings.</div></div><div class="restofpost"><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div>[End of Post] <o:p></o:p> <br />
<div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">Copyright ©2010. All rights reserved.</span></div></div>Brian Keithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17652813417780059053noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8795672609805177437.post-29290867663013956902010-02-10T05:30:00.000-08:002010-02-11T15:31:20.141-08:00Evaluating our Actions Based on Goals<style>
<!-- /* Font Definitions */ @font-face {font-family:Wingdings; panose-1:5 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0; mso-font-charset:2; mso-generic-font-family:auto; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:0 268435456 0 0 -2147483648 0;} /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:Arial; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} h3 {mso-style-next:Normal; margin-top:12.0pt; margin-right:0in; margin-bottom:3.0pt; margin-left:0in; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; page-break-after:avoid; mso-outline-level:3; font-size:13.0pt; font-family:Arial; font-weight:bold;} p {mso-margin-top-alt:auto; margin-right:0in; mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto; margin-left:0in; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} /* List Definitions */ @list l0 {mso-list-id:1741246305; mso-list-type:hybrid; mso-list-template-ids:-493476428 67698689 67698691 67698693 67698689 67698691 67698693 67698689 67698691 67698693;} @list l0:level1 {mso-level-number-format:bullet; mso-level-text:•; mso-level-tab-stop:.5in; mso-level-number-position:left; text-indent:-.25in; font-family:Symbol;} ol {margin-bottom:0in;} ul {margin-bottom:0in;} -->
</style> <br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><blockquote>As you can see, I haven’t been very effective at keeping my blogs up-to-date in the last few months. But since I turned another year older today, I felt it a great reason to log on and blog. I am now celebrating my 40th year on this great planet of ours and I feel freer, healthier, and happier than I have ever been in my life. And I believe that each year will only get that much better for me.</blockquote><br />
Now I don’t normally make New Year’s Resolutions. I have nothing against them. They’re just not my personal style. I’m not saying that I never have nor ever will. But at this point in my life they just don’t do it for me. However, I am continuously re-evaluating my life and creating intentions for where I want to be in 3 months, 6 months, 1 year, 3 years, 5 years, and 10 years. I do this periodically as well as just checking in with myself from time-to-time to see what’s missing in my life, what I would like more of, what I would like less of…like that.<br />
</div><div class="restofpost"><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">It’s a kind of, checking my course type of thing - in the same way that the captains of ships and pilots of planes need to periodically re-evaluate their headings to determine if they are still on course or if adjustments need to be made. If we wait too long to re-evaluate our direction, and we find that we have veered off course, the adjustments we have to make end up being bigger ones that are more time-consuming and require more effort. Smaller adjustments are easier and less invasive.<br />
<br />
But regardless of when you have made resolutions, or set intentions or goals for your life, there is a really simple method we can use to re-evaluate where we are in life and to determine if we’re on course. This is a simple exercise that requires a pen or pencil and a piece of paper. But I promise you it will be worth the whole 3 minutes of time invested for you to do this exercise. My guarantee is that this exercise may be very eye-opening for you but only if you do it as designed. If you just read through the exercise and try to do it in your mind, I can positively guarantee that you will not get the same value out of the exercise. So, are you ready?<br />
<br />
1. Make a list of the things that consume the majority of your time.<br />
<br />
2. Next, make a list of the things which you are committed to pursuing (in the present) for your life.<br />
<br />
3. Finally, make a list of the things to which you really are committed. Consider that if being committed were a function of how we give of ourselves in time and money, to what things are your time & money being given? These things, then, represent that to which you are really committed.<br />
<br />
After completing the above exercise, look over your answers. Do the items in your 3rd list look the same as those in your 2nd list? Do the items in your 1st list prohibit you from working towards things listed in your 2nd list?<br />
<br />
Are there things you listed in step 1 that you want to alter or altogether stop? Are there things you listed in step 3 that you want to alter or discontinue?<br />
<br />
If there were a lot of variances for you (and many times there are), don’t make it an opportunity to get down on yourself. The opportunity here is to look at your relationship to commitment.<br />
Do you esteem your commitments as worthy of pursuit? Do you seem to continuously experience difficulty following through on your commitments?<br />
<br />
Now, look over the items you listed in step 3 again. Are there any things on there that have a particular hold on you? Maybe you want to not spend so much time or money in an area listed there but you find that you continue doing it over and over again.<br />
<br />
If you were to consider the definition of addiction as “having the need for anything outside of yourself to make you feel whole or complete,” would you consider any of the items you listed on step 3 to be addictions? As humans, we’re very good at having addictions in all sorts of areas. Of course we hear about people who are addicted to alcohol, nicotine, drugs, or even sex. But what we really don’t talk about is that there are so many other addictions less graphic in nature. For instance, you could be addicted to shoplifting, addicted to watching television, or addicted to needing a boyfriend/girlfriend. These three addictions are no different from any other classification of addiction. Every addiction is initially driven by a closely-related unmet need within yourself. Looking for something, or someone, outside of yourself to give you a sense of meaning and fulfillment will always fall short of providing you what you desire. This is because your ultimate desire is to be at one with yourself – to be at peace. The idea of atonement is the concept of being at one-ment. External things used to try and fill these unmet needs will always fall short and will always reappear – either in the same form or possibly with a new pattern of addiction.<br />
<br />
Take this opportunity as a stepping stone to recommit to what’s important to you. Use this opportunity to discontinue engaging in activities that take you away from achieving those things to which you are committed and to use that time, energy, and money towards what it is you want to accomplish in life.</div>[End of Post]<br />
<o:p></o:p><br />
<div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">Copyright ©2010. All rights reserved.</span></div></div>Brian Keithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17652813417780059053noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8795672609805177437.post-91076989034620798422009-12-17T21:21:00.000-08:002009-12-17T21:21:18.640-08:00Invictus<style>
<!-- /* Font Definitions */ @font-face {font-family:Wingdings; panose-1:5 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0; mso-font-charset:2; mso-generic-font-family:auto; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:0 268435456 0 0 -2147483648 0;} /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:Arial; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} h3 {mso-style-next:Normal; margin-top:12.0pt; margin-right:0in; margin-bottom:3.0pt; margin-left:0in; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; page-break-after:avoid; mso-outline-level:3; font-size:13.0pt; font-family:Arial; font-weight:bold;} p {mso-margin-top-alt:auto; margin-right:0in; mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto; margin-left:0in; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} /* List Definitions */ @list l0 {mso-list-id:1741246305; mso-list-type:hybrid; mso-list-template-ids:-493476428 67698689 67698691 67698693 67698689 67698691 67698693 67698689 67698691 67698693;} @list l0:level1 {mso-level-number-format:bullet; mso-level-text:•; mso-level-tab-stop:.5in; mso-level-number-position:left; text-indent:-.25in; font-family:Symbol;} ol {margin-bottom:0in;} ul {margin-bottom:0in;} -->
</style><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue',Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><div class="summary"><blockquote>I am currently on holiday, visiting my family in Missouri. I will not be returning to my home, nor do I plan on writing a subsequent blog until after the Christmas holiday. With that said, I wish you all a very, merry Christmas shared with, and surrounded by those you love.<br />
</blockquote>Earlier today, I went with my dad and mom to see the movie “Invictus,” directed by Clint Eastwood and staring Morgan Freeman in the role of Nelson Mandela. [<em>This is <u>not</u> a movie-spoiler</em>.] Although I knew the movie tied the leadership of Mandela to the success of the South African National rugby team, I was unaware of the movie’s</div></div><div class="restofpost"><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue',Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">awe-inspiring portrayal of the power of forgiveness under the example of Mandela.<br />
<br />
The movie begins with the release of Mandela from prison and the fall of apartheid in South Africa and then quickly segues to ultimately portray Mandela’s life during his term as president when he campaigned to host the 1995 Rugby World Cup event as an opportunity to unite his countrymen. The movie beautifully and eloquently displays the powerful tool that forgiveness became in the ability of one man to unite an entire nation.<br />
<br />
In the movie, Mandela offers to the captain of the rugby team (played by Matt Damon) a handwritten copy of the poem ("Invictus") that he accredited for sustaining him and causing him to prevail even when he was at his lowest points during his 27 years of imprisonment. Below, I offer a copy of this poem.<br />
<br />
As background, the poet, William Ernest Henley, at the age of 12 became victim to tuberculosis of the bone. The title of the poem, “Invictus,” is a Latin word which translates to mean "<em>unconquerable</em>” or “<em>undefeated</em>." Henley penned this poem in 1875 from his hospital bed after having his leg amputated as a result of his condition. This poem was first published in 1888 in Henley's <u>Book of Verses</u>, where it was the fourth in a series of poems originally entitled “Life and Death (Echoes).”<br />
<br />
Invictus<br />
<br />
Out of the night that covers me,<br />
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,<br />
I thank whatever gods may be<br />
For my unconquerable soul.<br />
<br />
In the fell clutch of circumstance<br />
I have not winced nor cried aloud.<br />
Under the bludgeonings of chance<br />
My head is bloody, but unbowed.<br />
<br />
Beyond this place of wrath and tears<br />
Looms but the Horror of the shade,<br />
And yet the menace of the years<br />
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.<br />
<br />
It matters not how strait the gate,<br />
How charged with punishments the scroll.<br />
I am the master of my fate:<br />
I am the captain of my soul.<br />
<br />
- William Ernest Henley (1849 - 1903)<br />
<br />
</div>[End of Post]<br />
<div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">Copyright ©2009. All rights reserved.</span><br />
</div></div>Brian Keithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17652813417780059053noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8795672609805177437.post-70129385116237417652009-12-10T14:35:00.000-08:002009-12-10T14:35:27.846-08:00Selfishness and Giving<style>
<!-- /* Font Definitions */ @font-face {font-family:Wingdings; panose-1:5 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0; mso-font-charset:2; mso-generic-font-family:auto; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:0 268435456 0 0 -2147483648 0;} /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:Arial; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} h3 {mso-style-next:Normal; margin-top:12.0pt; margin-right:0in; margin-bottom:3.0pt; margin-left:0in; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; page-break-after:avoid; mso-outline-level:3; font-size:13.0pt; font-family:Arial; font-weight:bold;} p {mso-margin-top-alt:auto; margin-right:0in; mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto; margin-left:0in; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} /* List Definitions */ @list l0 {mso-list-id:1741246305; mso-list-type:hybrid; mso-list-template-ids:-493476428 67698689 67698691 67698693 67698689 67698691 67698693 67698689 67698691 67698693;} @list l0:level1 {mso-level-number-format:bullet; mso-level-text:•; mso-level-tab-stop:.5in; mso-level-number-position:left; text-indent:-.25in; font-family:Symbol;} ol {margin-bottom:0in;} ul {margin-bottom:0in;} -->
</style> <br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><div class="summary">On an airplane a few weeks back, I was sharing with my partner about how much I loved my family’s Christmas traditions – the getting together, the reading of the Christmas story, all of the playful hijinks, and always, always, always the discovery of who will now hold the honor of receiving a rather sadly-made version of Mary & Joseph that has been passed around within our extended family for something like 15 years now <br />
</div></div><div class="restofpost"><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">(along with the more recent addition of their accompanying “travel diary”). But I think I may have surprised him when I also told him about my selfishness and why Christmas had, in years past, been somewhat of a let-down for me because of my expectations around gift giving (or to be more precise, gift receiving).<br />
<br />
Don’t get me wrong – I love to give to others. I love to give my time, my support, my money, and unexpected gifts as an expression of my love. For the better part of my life I’ve been a giver and I’ve learned that giving does return a joy to me that surpasses other joys I’ve known. But being a giver has never changed the fact that I am also selfish!<br />
<br />
In many ways, I think that being selfish has served me well in life, allowing me to see that if I don’t first ensure that my “cup is full,” I will have nothing left to give to others. I can’t take care of another if I can’t first take care of myself. If I’m not ensuring my own mental and emotional stability, how am I to help another in need? In that vein, I believe that being selfish is something that more people should learn. Not a selfishness that just takes – but a selfishness that takes care of one’s own needs first.<br />
<br />
In reflecting on the upset I felt related to gift-receiving, or lack thereof, I realized that a very simple shift in my expectations could make a world of difference for me and transform my upset into complete joy. In the past, when it came time to open my presents, I was focused on the number of presents I received. I was also focused on the gifts themselves and not on the hearts of those who had given to me. This could have possibly been due to the obligatory nature that I felt events such as Christmas and birthdays represented for me. Those had both come to represent times in which I felt a need to give out of obligation rather than giving solely out of my love for another.<br />
<br />
My shift in view was simply to choose to give to others out of my heart’s desire to bless them. Coupling that view-point with choosing to expect nothing from anyone, I realized that anything I received would be a welcomed sign of love and affection on the part of any who gave.<br />
<br />
Armed with my new points-of-view, I am now ready for Christmas – one filled with the love and joy of being with my family and friends whom I adore.<br />
</div>[End of Post]<br />
<o:p></o:p><br />
<div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">Copyright ©2009. All rights reserved.</span></div></div>Brian Keithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17652813417780059053noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8795672609805177437.post-31492792155087387802009-11-27T15:11:00.000-08:002010-02-11T15:30:29.663-08:00Celebrating Our Heroes and Other Stories of Success<style>
<!-- /* Font Definitions */ @font-face {font-family:Wingdings; panose-1:5 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0; mso-font-charset:2; mso-generic-font-family:auto; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:0 268435456 0 0 -2147483648 0;} /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:Arial; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} h3 {mso-style-next:Normal; margin-top:12.0pt; margin-right:0in; margin-bottom:3.0pt; margin-left:0in; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; page-break-after:avoid; mso-outline-level:3; font-size:13.0pt; font-family:Arial; font-weight:bold;} p {mso-margin-top-alt:auto; margin-right:0in; mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto; margin-left:0in; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} /* List Definitions */ @list l0 {mso-list-id:1741246305; mso-list-type:hybrid; mso-list-template-ids:-493476428 67698689 67698691 67698693 67698689 67698691 67698693 67698689 67698691 67698693;} @list l0:level1 {mso-level-number-format:bullet; mso-level-text:•; mso-level-tab-stop:.5in; mso-level-number-position:left; text-indent:-.25in; font-family:Symbol;} ol {margin-bottom:0in;} ul {margin-bottom:0in;} -->
</style> <br />
<div class="summary"><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">While visiting at the Thanksgiving table last night after dinner, the subject of the Great Depression arose. A few attendees had been alive during that era and gave some of their accounts of what times where like back then. One comment struck me in particular. The individual was speaking of the hardships faced by people then and the strength – both physically and that of character that it required for many (or, arguably most) to survive those times.<br />
<br />
Then, before retiring to bed last night I watched NBC’s “People of the Year” with Matt Lauer. I was moved by the very first interview with Captain Chesley “Sully” Sullenberger who piloted the US Airways “Miracle on the Hudson” <br />
</div></div><div class="restofpost"><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">landing that saved the lives of everyone on board. I listened to how he said his life had changed and how he had become more secure in his own skin. <br />
<br />
I then listened to the interview with Captain Richard Phillips whose boat had come under attack by pirates off the rugged Horn of Africa. Captain Phillips ended up being kidnapped by the pirates but was credited with saving his boat and the lives of his crew. The U.S. military came to his aid and freed him to return home.<br />
<br />
I was moved by both of these stories and I suddenly realized why we love to hear the stories of heroes and why we love to hear the stories of those, like Susan Boyle and Taylor Swift, who have brought us so much joy with their music and whose dreams have come true for them. We love to hear these stories because they represent the human spirit and of what we are capable. They represent the resiliency of the human spirit and stand as testament to the abilities that we all have within.<br />
<br />
The thrust we have to survive, the strength and courage that shine through when necessary, and the drive to succeed and prevail – achieving our dreams, celebrate that of which we are all capable. These stories represent what’s possible for anyone who has a dream to achieve. They represent the pinnacle of the human spirit – a drive to always succeed, a steadfastness in times of trouble, and an enduring hope that our circumstances will only get better.<br />
<br />
It matters not if your aspirations are considered big or small. They all live in the realm of the possible if you dare to keep them in your heart and dreams. I believe in a God who is for us all, who wants us to succeed, and who gives to us every good thing, withholding nothing. And, I continually see the evidence for this when I look at my life and the lives of others. There is no thing that is out of our reach or that is too big for any of us to handle. <br />
</div>[end of post]<br />
<o:p></o:p><br />
<div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">Copyright ©2009. All rights reserved.</span></div></div>Brian Keithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17652813417780059053noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8795672609805177437.post-35888077147360262202009-11-25T14:22:00.000-08:002009-11-29T04:33:47.431-08:00A Thanksgiving Full of Thankfulness<style>
<!-- /* Font Definitions */ @font-face {font-family:Wingdings; panose-1:5 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0; mso-font-charset:2; mso-generic-font-family:auto; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:0 268435456 0 0 -2147483648 0;} /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:Arial; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} h3 {mso-style-next:Normal; margin-top:12.0pt; margin-right:0in; margin-bottom:3.0pt; margin-left:0in; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; page-break-after:avoid; mso-outline-level:3; font-size:13.0pt; font-family:Arial; font-weight:bold;} p {mso-margin-top-alt:auto; margin-right:0in; mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto; margin-left:0in; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} /* List Definitions */ @list l0 {mso-list-id:1741246305; mso-list-type:hybrid; mso-list-template-ids:-493476428 67698689 67698691 67698693 67698689 67698691 67698693 67698689 67698691 67698693;} @list l0:level1 {mso-level-number-format:bullet; mso-level-text:•; mso-level-tab-stop:.5in; mso-level-number-position:left; text-indent:-.25in; font-family:Symbol;} ol {margin-bottom:0in;} ul {margin-bottom:0in;} -->
</style> <br />
<div class="summary"><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">It’s become many family’s tradition to have each person sitting at the Thanksgiving dinner table tell everyone in attendance for what they are grateful. My family, too, honors this tradition although I’ve not had the privilege of spending Thanksgiving with them for many years. <br />
<br />
In my younger years I, of course, had little regard for this tradition. As a child, when food was set before me I was ready to eat! Now my understanding of this practice gives me a much greater appreciation for its value in my life and in the lives of others.<br />
<br />
</div></div><div class="restofpost"><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">The good folks at the Institute of <a href="http://www.heartmath.org/">HeartMath</a>® have been working for many years to understand the power of emotion contained within the heart, the heart/brain entrainment, and the physiological ramifications of the heart’s emotional content. As part of their findings, they’ve been able to produce conclusive evidence that we can shift ourselves from the feelings of stress and other negative feelings/emotions entirely by getting into our “heart space” and operating from one of the following four places for a period of three minutes: (1) Love (2) Appreciation (3) Gratitude OR (4) Compassion. Getting into this space provides a shift in our being, no matter the circumstances surrounding our lives currently. But this is no easy task – I assure you! I’m able to easily produce these feelings for 30-45 seconds but my attention starts to wane or I begin to feel like I’ve exhausted my list of things for which I’m grateful. <br />
<br />
One of the great things about this exercise is that it causes you to dig deep. You’ll quickly run out of the surface things within the first minute. The remainder or time causes you to really examine what you love, what you’re appreciative of, what you’re grateful for, or where in your life you have compassion.<br />
<br />
To shift your being, you don’t need to pick one of the above items only. You can move down into your heart and begin to exercise all four of the above feelings – you just need to stay in one or a combination of the four attributes for a period of three minutes in order to shift who you are being in the moment.<br />
<br />
This technology is so effective that it’s now being used by major corporations to train their managers how to make effective decisions. Rather than a manager going to a meeting where he is expected to make a decision just after having received a phone call or e-mail with negative considerations about that thing, these managers are learning to make decisions based on their hearts rather than their heads – and it’s having outstanding success.<br />
<br />
I employ this technology when I get a phone call from someone who is having a stressful day or is feeling overwhelmed by what they have to do. I simply ask them to tell me for what they are grateful. They begin to tell me and when the finish, I ask them to tell me for what else they are grateful. I continue this line of questioning, either with the same attribute or a combination of any/all of the above four attributes until I’ve helped that person get into his/her heart and produce love-filled emotion for three minutes. Most people don’t even recognize that this is what I’m doing. They simply know that they feel entirely better after that conversation and they are free of stress and clear of mind to take whatever their next steps are.<br />
<br />
I’m providing this link to the “<a href="http://www.heartmath.org/templates/ihm/section_includes/resources/pdf/destress_kit.pdf">De-Stress Kit for the Changing Times</a>” as posted on the HeartMath® website. Give yourself the gift of reading this thirteen-page article today. It will be the best preparation you could give yourself for this Thanksgiving and Christmas holiday season. With this preparation, you’ll be aptly prepared to face whatever stress might come your way.<br />
<br />
Happy Thanksgiving! May you be blessed with the gifts of thankfulness and gratitude for that which you have.<br />
</div>[End of Post]<br />
<o:p></o:p><br />
<div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">Copyright ©2009. All rights reserved.</span></div></div>Brian Keithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17652813417780059053noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8795672609805177437.post-30764561098689145912009-11-24T13:30:00.000-08:002009-11-29T17:53:53.276-08:00The Art of Letting Go<style>
<!-- /* Font Definitions */ @font-face {font-family:Wingdings; panose-1:5 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0; mso-font-charset:2; mso-generic-font-family:auto; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:0 268435456 0 0 -2147483648 0;} /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:Arial; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} h3 {mso-style-next:Normal; margin-top:12.0pt; margin-right:0in; margin-bottom:3.0pt; margin-left:0in; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; page-break-after:avoid; mso-outline-level:3; font-size:13.0pt; font-family:Arial; font-weight:bold;} p {mso-margin-top-alt:auto; margin-right:0in; mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto; margin-left:0in; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} /* List Definitions */ @list l0 {mso-list-id:1741246305; mso-list-type:hybrid; mso-list-template-ids:-493476428 67698689 67698691 67698693 67698689 67698691 67698693 67698689 67698691 67698693;} @list l0:level1 {mso-level-number-format:bullet; mso-level-text:•; mso-level-tab-stop:.5in; mso-level-number-position:left; text-indent:-.25in; font-family:Symbol;} ol {margin-bottom:0in;} ul {margin-bottom:0in;} -->
</style> <br />
<div class="summary"><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Recently, I was at a seminar where I heard the speaker make a startling statement. He was speaking about the polarity of all things (i.e. good/bad, right/wrong, light/dark and so on) and he mentioned that when we are intent about anything, we also intend that thing’s opposite. While this statement wasn’t entirely new to me (reference my blog entitled <a href="http://strategiesfortoday.blogspot.com/2009/09/why-does-inequality-exist.html">“Why Inequality Exists”</a>), the impact of this concept’s ramifications had a newly profound effect on how I now see everything.<br />
</div><p></p></div><div class="restofpost"><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">According to the speaker, one cannot ask for something or want for something without noticing that what he wants or asks for is missing. So when we’re focusing our intention towards something, on some level we are also continually noticing that thing is not present in our lives. Because of this, we’re giving energy to both things – the having and the not having!<br />
<br />
To look from another perspective, think back to when you were a child and think of a time when you got something you had really been wanting for a long time – something you wanted really badly. You asked your parents for it. You asked Santa for it. You asked God for it. And, you continued to want that thing until you finally got it. When you got that thing, you immediately expressed gratitude for that thing and went off to play with it or use it. And, then, if you were like most kids, it seemed like you immediately began to focus on something else that you wanted. In fact, that may even describe you in the present. I know that is certainly how life shows up for me.<br />
<br />
Looking back at that analogy, what was the first thing you did when you received that which you wanted? You stopped wanting that thing! You no longer wanted it because you now possessed it. And, then you expressed gratitude for having it in your life.<br />
<br />
As grown ups, when we focus our attention on what we want in our lives, we do give energy to that thing. But, we are also giving energy to having the absence of that thing. If we really believed that we received that for which we asked at the time in which we asked, we would have no need to continually focus our attention on the wanting of that thing. Just like the child who receives the object he desired, we would immediately stop wanting and then we would give gratitude for that which we believe that we had received.<br />
<br />
This is the true secret of “The Secret.” The power in receiving anything is all within the art of letting go. <br />
<br />
It’s completely fine to want things. I believe that we are all created to continuously desire more. All of creation longs to expand itself. That is our nature. It’s great to set your intention to have good things come your way. And, you can set your intention to attract specific things into your life. But, ultimately, you want to let go of your desire . . . not like no longer caring, but more like believing you already received that which you desired. Otherwise, your continual focus will remain on wishing for what you want, and noticing what you don’t have. And, your energy will go to both things.<br />
<br />
Instead, desire, intend, ask, and then believe that you received what you desired. And because you have it, you no longer have to want it. You can simply move straight into gratitude, thanking God for providing that for which you asked.<br />
</div>[End of Post]<br />
<o:p></o:p><br />
<div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">Copyright ©2009. All rights reserved.</span></div></div>Brian Keithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17652813417780059053noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8795672609805177437.post-55414162099131891472009-10-30T11:30:00.000-07:002009-11-24T13:24:32.323-08:00Finding Yourself - Part II<style>
<!-- /* Font Definitions */ @font-face {font-family:Wingdings; panose-1:5 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0; mso-font-charset:2; mso-generic-font-family:auto; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:0 268435456 0 0 -2147483648 0;} /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:Arial; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} h3 {mso-style-next:Normal; margin-top:12.0pt; margin-right:0in; margin-bottom:3.0pt; margin-left:0in; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; page-break-after:avoid; mso-outline-level:3; font-size:13.0pt; font-family:Arial; font-weight:bold;} p {mso-margin-top-alt:auto; margin-right:0in; mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto; margin-left:0in; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} /* List Definitions */ @list l0 {mso-list-id:1741246305; mso-list-type:hybrid; mso-list-template-ids:-493476428 67698689 67698691 67698693 67698689 67698691 67698693 67698689 67698691 67698693;} @list l0:level1 {mso-level-number-format:bullet; mso-level-text:•; mso-level-tab-stop:.5in; mso-level-number-position:left; text-indent:-.25in; font-family:Symbol;} ol {margin-bottom:0in;} ul {margin-bottom:0in;} -->
</style> <br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I am very happy to announce today that I am now incorporated in the State of California to do business as Strategies for Today, LLC. My website for my coaching business is also available as of today and may be found at <a href="http://www.strategiesfortoday.com/">www.strategiesfortoday.com</a>. Even if you’re not interested in having a Life Coach, you may be interested in some of the information on my website – especially the entire “<i>Philosophy</i>” section. Please check it out and let me know what you think.<br />
============================================ <br />
<br />
This morning as I was watching the <a href="http://today.msnbc.msn.com/">Today Show</a>, the interview of Katie Callaway Hall, who was interviewed by Meredith Vieira, caught my attention. In 1977, Hall was attacked and raped by Phillip Garrido, the same man accused of kidnapping Jaycee Dugard at age 11 in front of her South Lake Tahoe home and holding and raping Dugard for 18 years.<br />
<br />
Hall, and her husband, Jim, had made the long drive from Las Vegas, NV to Placerville, CA to attended Garrido’s first court hearing on the Dugard charges. Garrido had been paroled from his 50-year sentence for his rape conviction of Hall after serving only eleven years. He is now accused of abducting Dugard just three years after his release from prison for the Hall rape conviction.<br />
<br />
During the Hall trial, Katie Callaway Hall said that she was unable to look Garrido in the eyes. She had made the drive to face her attacker in an effort to find closure (my words). The thing that caught my attention was that Hall said (in speaking of looking Garrido in the face), “It took me by total surprise, my reaction, and I can’t even explain why — except to tell you <i>on some deep, subconscious level, I reacted to this man in a way I didn’t expect to</i>.” [<i>italics mine</i>]<br />
<br />
She went on to say, “I thought this chapter was closed. I pretty much closed it and got on with my life. <i>It’s always been just under the surface of my life, and I thought this was in its box and put away.</i> But this Pandora’s box is open for me, and now I’m dealing with it again on a different level, <i>like I’ve been victimized myself</i>.” [<i>italics mine</i>]<br />
<br />
Hall was surprised by her reaction. She said, “I just thought I’d look at him in victory: ‘You jerk. I survived. You’re going down.’ But it hit me completely different,” she said. “I almost broke down. <i>I started tearing up.</i> <i>I couldn’t understand why. I couldn’t control it. I hope that that’s not going to happen next time.</i> I hope I got that initial meeting out of the way and now I know what to expect.” [<i>italics mine</i>]<br />
<br />
It’s a common saying for us that “time heals all wounds.” But that’s just a fallacy. With time, we learn to bury our hurts and our emotions. We stuff them down and pretend that they’re not there. Most of us don’t know what to do with them. And then when they come to the surface, just as Katie Callaway Hall said in her interview, we’re taken by surprise. <br />
<br />
Just because we don’t think about our hurts or our emotional scars on a daily basis doesn’t mean that they’ve been healed! If we haven’t done the work to replace those hurts, they simply simmer below the surface, just waiting for a similar situation, a look, a certain word or tone of voice to present itself before they explode to the surface, surprising even us. In these times, <i>our subconscious minds are simply reacting</i> to the stimuli that remind us of the past hurt. We are not <i>responding</i> to the current situation. If we were, we’d find that we were <i>over-reacting</i> to it. Over-reaction is a big clue that tells us when we’re reacting to something other than the situation at hand.<br />
<br />
Another point of interest is that Hall said that she felt like she’d been victimized herself when facing Garrido. Our subconscious minds hold the memories of every single moment in our lives in storage for us. They hold every event, everything said, every smell, every color, every word spoken, and every thought related to each event. And, the subconscious mind can’t tell the difference between real life and a memory. So, when the memory and the emotions of an event are triggered, the subconscious mind brings that memory to the forefront of our minds and it really is like we’re in that event again.<br />
<br />
These events do become a part of who we truly are. The Bible reads, that “<i>…out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks</i>.” (Luke 6:45, NKJV) When we realize we are not responding to what is before us, but we are <i>reacting to something from our past</i>, that’s a sign that there is something we’ve buried that needs to be healed. Unless we work to heal those wounds from the past, we will never be free of the emotional hurt that we suffered in relation to those wounds.<br />
<br />
</div><o:p></o:p><br />
<div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">Copyright ©2009. All rights reserved.</span><br />
</div>Brian Keithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17652813417780059053noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8795672609805177437.post-74188876690831074832009-10-21T12:37:00.000-07:002009-10-21T12:37:54.695-07:00Finding Yourself – Part I<style>
<!-- /* Font Definitions */ @font-face {font-family:Wingdings; panose-1:5 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0; mso-font-charset:2; mso-generic-font-family:auto; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:0 268435456 0 0 -2147483648 0;} /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:Arial; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} h3 {mso-style-next:Normal; margin-top:12.0pt; margin-right:0in; margin-bottom:3.0pt; margin-left:0in; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; page-break-after:avoid; mso-outline-level:3; font-size:13.0pt; font-family:Arial; font-weight:bold;} p {mso-margin-top-alt:auto; margin-right:0in; mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto; margin-left:0in; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} /* List Definitions */ @list l0 {mso-list-id:1741246305; mso-list-type:hybrid; mso-list-template-ids:-493476428 67698689 67698691 67698693 67698689 67698691 67698693 67698689 67698691 67698693;} @list l0:level1 {mso-level-number-format:bullet; mso-level-text:•; mso-level-tab-stop:.5in; mso-level-number-position:left; text-indent:-.25in; font-family:Symbol;} ol {margin-bottom:0in;} ul {margin-bottom:0in;} -->
</style> <br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">While sitting in a seminar some years ago, I heard the lecturer make a statement that at the time I didn’t agree with. He said [paraphrased]:<br />
<blockquote>You think that you need to be separate from others in order to find yourselves. You believe that your identity can only come to the surface if you are not surrounded by others, working in teams or in groups. You believe that you need to be separate in order to be noticed or to really find out who you are. But none of that’s true. You only find yourselves in teams. You only find yourselves when you are working with others.<br />
</blockquote>As I said, I was in complete disagreement with this statement. Yet, as you can see, the thought continued to stay in my mind, every so often, coming to the surface as if to say, “I’m still here, take a look at me again.” I would look at that thought, measure it to what I had experienced in life, and continuing to disagree with it, I would push it to the back of my mind.<br />
<br />
It wasn’t until a couple of years ago that I actually began to understand what the lecturer was saying all those years ago. And, little by little, I began to believe that what he said is true to life. (Isn’t it amazing what just a few years of living will do to increase our understanding and wisdom?)<br />
<br />
I found, from my own experience, that working with others always brought out things in me that I didn’t know where there – both things that I liked and things that I didn’t like. Working alone I wasn’t challenged to get along with others, I wasn’t challenged to be understanding of others, and I certainly wasn’t challenged to try and understand another’s views. Working alone, I only had to deal with me and I got along pretty good with myself! Working alone, I wasn’t stretched to accept any other views other than my own. Working alone doesn’t cause one to grow like he would when working with others.<br />
<br />
I finally understood what the lecturer had said. When you give yourself to others, you don’t lose yourself – you actually find yourself! Working in teams shows you what’s inside. It makes you aware of the things that you like about yourself and exposes those things that you don’t like and that you wish to change. Working with others causes you to re-examine what you believe. It challenges your beliefs and gives you insight into others beliefs so that you may choose differently than what you had believed before. Or, it helps you grow stronger in what you already believed.<br />
<br />
Working with others moves us much more quickly through the lessons of life that we all have to learn. Just like rushing water helps determine what a rock is made of and polishes it over time, we need the friction provided by others to help us see what we’re each made of and to polish and mold us into what we are supposed to become. Without the catalyst that others are for us, it can take us years longer to learn our life-lessons, which amounts to years of suffering that could be avoided.<br />
<br />
If you are working with someone that is a challenge for you to work with, say a simple prayer asking that you be shown what it is that you are to learn from this person or from working with this person. <br />
</div><o:p></o:p><br />
<div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">Copyright ©2009. All rights reserved.</span><br />
</div>Brian Keithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17652813417780059053noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8795672609805177437.post-7681540597148986632009-10-09T04:30:00.000-07:002009-11-25T09:05:18.226-08:00What Everyone Resists<style>
<!-- /* Font Definitions */ @font-face {font-family:Wingdings; panose-1:5 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0; mso-font-charset:2; mso-generic-font-family:auto; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:0 268435456 0 0 -2147483648 0;} /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:Arial; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} h3 {mso-style-next:Normal; margin-top:12.0pt; margin-right:0in; margin-bottom:3.0pt; margin-left:0in; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; page-break-after:avoid; mso-outline-level:3; font-size:13.0pt; font-family:Arial; font-weight:bold;} p {mso-margin-top-alt:auto; margin-right:0in; mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto; margin-left:0in; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} /* List Definitions */ @list l0 {mso-list-id:1741246305; mso-list-type:hybrid; mso-list-template-ids:-493476428 67698689 67698691 67698693 67698689 67698691 67698693 67698689 67698691 67698693;} @list l0:level1 {mso-level-number-format:bullet; mso-level-text:•; mso-level-tab-stop:.5in; mso-level-number-position:left; text-indent:-.25in; font-family:Symbol;} ol {margin-bottom:0in;} ul {margin-bottom:0in;} -->
</style> <br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Have you ever considered that we are all resistors (of others) in one way or another? Some people resist any guidance from others or they resist taking any advice from another in a somewhat passive-aggressive manner. Others resist being told what to do no matter who they are with. While yet others resist even the directions they are given by those in authority over them at work!<br />
<br />
What is it about being given direction that so threatens us that we seem to run from it? I’d like for you to consider that there is a set of behaviors that we have in common with everyone in the human race. And then also consider that one of those behaviors that we all share is that we all resist being controlled.<br />
<br />
<b>Our Resistance to Being Controlled.</b><br />
<br />
Consider that one of the fundamental driving forces we all share is a resistance to being controlled by others. Simply put, we resist being told what to do. When we are working in teams at our places of employment, we resist allowing the outcomes of our circumstances (our fates) to reside in the hands of another (the team leader). If we disagree with the direction that the team leader is taking the team, we fight against that direction in one of many ways: we become directly confrontational with the team leader, or we talk to others on the team to try and sway them to our way of thinking so that we can form a coup to show a majority stance against the leader, or we go over the leader’s head to someone higher-ranking in the company in order to try and convince that person of our way.<br />
<br />
In my own life, one place where I’ve resisted another is in allowing my partner to navigate our way anywhere when he was driving us in the car. In order to fully understand where I was coming from, you must first know that my story about my partner was that he had <i>zero-sense</i> of direction. I tell you this not because it’s true about him, but because that’s the way that I viewed him for quite sometime.<br />
<br />
If we were going somewhere in the car, I really held him accountable if he got us lost, or made us late in getting somewhere, especially if I had told him to take a different route or turn. I would sit in the passenger seat and get really quiet. I just wouldn’t talk to him (because that’s the adult way of handling disagreements – right?)! I know that none of you have ever done this, but I’m sure you can imagine how well that strategy worked out for me/us!<br />
<br />
Once I realized that I was being controlling every time we got into the car, and once I realized that I wasn’t allowing him to be responsible for getting us to where we were going, I decided to run a silent experiment. I decided that I was going to allow him to be fully responsible for getting us to our destinations and I wasn’t going to be upset about him taking wrong turns, taking a route that I wouldn’t, or even getting us to our destination late. I just was going to be in the car and not get upset!<br />
<br />
Now there’s a big difference in the way that I prepare for going somewhere and the way my partner prepares. I’m driven to not only know the address of where we’re going but I also have to know the phone number in case we need to call ahead and let someone know we’re going to be late due to traffic. I will also typically have directions with me or I will have looked at a map enough to have a general sense of what roads would best get us to our destination. My partner? – his preparation usually involved getting in the car, sometimes having the destination address, and using his trusty GPS.<br />
<br />
At the beginning of the experiment, we would get in the car and my partner would just start driving! I would ask, do you know where you’re going? And he would say, “no, I thought you did.” If I had the address, I would tell him so. Then he would ask me to get his navigation system out of his glovebox and enter in the destination address for him. Oohhh, how frustrating! He was depending on me but only under his conditions and he still wasn’t conceding control to me! Everything else, for me, was a lesson in taking control of myself by letting go of my attachments to “being right”, having things my way, having to be places early by a particular amount of time, or taking the route that I would take.<br />
<br />
The part of my experiment that involved me not dominating and not getting upset turned into a lesson of <i>accepting that which is</i> rather than fighting against not getting upset (which as you know is a losing battle).<br />
<br />
Ultimately, I ended up learning that my silent experiment was as much about me as it was about him! I didn’t realize what I was doing at the time I was doing it, but more than allowing him to just be responsible, I was hoping that he would come to his senses and realize that my point-of-view (that he had no sense of direction and needed my guidance) was right and then he would ask for my help (knowing that it always works out better when someone asks for direction rather than receiving unsolicited advice). So as you can see, <i>my experiment was really just another strategy for me to try to get my way</i> and get him to relinquish control of getting us to our destination! (One might even say that I was being passive-aggressive.)<br />
<br />
Take a look at your life now. Where can you see that you’re being controlling and uncompromising about how things have to be? Can you give up having to control those situations? Will you give up trying to control those situations? <i>Can you accept that another’s way of doing something is just as valid as your way</i>? It may be that you have great ideas for cutting corners or improving a process. However, <i>if your ideas aren’t welcome or solicited, they’ll simply be ignored and that may leave you feeling unimportant, unwelcomed, or diminished</i>.<br />
<br />
Our position is that everyone has a place at the table. That includes us. So if you are feeling that you don’t have a welcomed place from which to share your ideas or opinions, look at where it is that you are trying to control the situation and ask yourself if you can give up that control and simply accept what is. I think you’ll find that acceptance may ultimately not just give you a place to sit, but a place from which you are asked to speak, and possibly a place where your words are given great weight.<br />
<br />
</div><o:p></o:p><br />
<div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">Copyright ©2009. All rights reserved.</span><br />
</div>Brian Keithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17652813417780059053noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8795672609805177437.post-20725478470673768922009-10-07T04:00:00.000-07:002009-10-07T04:00:00.413-07:00Incomplete Communications<style>
<!-- /* Font Definitions */ @font-face {font-family:Wingdings; panose-1:5 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0; mso-font-charset:2; mso-generic-font-family:auto; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:0 268435456 0 0 -2147483648 0;} /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:Arial; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} h3 {mso-style-next:Normal; margin-top:12.0pt; margin-right:0in; margin-bottom:3.0pt; margin-left:0in; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; page-break-after:avoid; mso-outline-level:3; font-size:13.0pt; font-family:Arial; font-weight:bold;} p {mso-margin-top-alt:auto; margin-right:0in; mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto; margin-left:0in; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} /* List Definitions */ @list l0 {mso-list-id:1741246305; mso-list-type:hybrid; mso-list-template-ids:-493476428 67698689 67698691 67698693 67698689 67698691 67698693 67698689 67698691 67698693;} @list l0:level1 {mso-level-number-format:bullet; mso-level-text:•; mso-level-tab-stop:.5in; mso-level-number-position:left; text-indent:-.25in; font-family:Symbol;} ol {margin-bottom:0in;} ul {margin-bottom:0in;} -->
</style> <br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Several years back, my partner and I took a vacation with another couple who were good friends of ours. However, this wasn’t the normal vacation we like to take (snorkeling at some pristine beach in the Caribbean), but it instead involved a lot of time together in the car as we toured the Northwestern parts of Nevada and California. As we planned our trip and determined the places where we wanted to go, I could hear the voice of my mother in my head saying, “<i>When you believe that you want to marry someone, take a long trip in the car together. That will test your compatibility</i>.” <br />
<br />
Before I tell you the rest of the story, let me ask you, “Have you ever had an incomplete communication with someone?” What I mean by incomplete communication is: <br />
a) the other person didn’t understand what you said <br />
b) the other person didn’t receive your communication <br />
c) you didn’t understand what was being said to you <br />
d) you didn’t receive the other person’s communication or <br />
e) there was something that should have been said but never was. <br />
<br />
These are all examples of communication that was left incomplete. <br />
<br />
When an incomplete communication is in your space, it will come up for you every time you are around that other person. It seems like it becomes a plaque of sorts because it doesn’t appear to diminish with the passing of time. Instead, it just seems to drive a divide between you and the other person – a divide that after enough time has passed will seem insurmountable. In fact, if enough time has passed, you’ll find yourself getting really reasonable about not completing an incomplete communication with justifications like, “<i>I don’t need to bring up that old thing. That happened a long time ago</i>.” or “<i>That’s water under the bridge</i>.”<br />
<br />
Unfortunately, incomplete communications of any kind will serve only to diminish the affinity that you can have for another or the affinity that he could have for you. And truthfully, that’s one of the primary reasons you will want to resolve any communications that are incomplete. The completion of an incomplete communication will immediately release the negative feelings that you have about that person. It will open your heart to have more affinity for that person and it will provide you with peace of mind – all good reasons to complete your past incomplete communications.<br />
<br />
One thing to remember though is that just because something was left incomplete for you does not necessarily mean that it is also incomplete for the other person. It’s best not to project your beliefs or feelings onto the other person. Simply complete with that person what was left as incomplete for you. Then, your work is done. If that thing was also incomplete for the other person, through your boldness and generosity of completing that thing, you will be giving the other an opening that he or she may not have had before. That could be a gift of grace that will provide the other person with peace of mind and greater affinity.<br />
<br />
So, back to my story, since I don’t enjoy traveling in a car for any more than 4 hours to reach a destination, I hadn’t, as an adult, had a lot of travel experience of being in a car and having to be <i>responsible</i>. Boy was I in for a big awakening! The big day came and we met at the airport to fly across the country from Maryland to California where we would pick up our rental car and begin our long awaited vacation together. <br />
<br />
The first couple of days were great and we really enjoyed the camaraderie with one another. After that, things went downhill quickly! We couldn’t get the temperature in the car adjusted to everyone’s liking. The music, too, was an issue of personal taste with little compromise. Sometimes, the individuals who were driving would become agitated with the heavy traffic or his or her loss for direction.<br />
<br />
After that, everything seemed to become a challenge: Finding a restaurant that we could all agree on; agreeing on what sites we would see that day; finding compatible entertainment at night to suit everyone’s tastes; and even seemingly unfairness in our accommodations – all of which were spoken of but never did the four of us just sit down and hash out our differences. Not once did any of us take responsibility for the situation. And never did anyone apologize for their words spoken out of anger or upset.<br />
<br />
It was almost a year after our trip that I had finally had enough of these issues eating away at me. I had never enjoyed a vacation any less than that one and I was stubbornly holding on to all of the wrongs I felt were done to me. But, I couldn’t stand not having peace in my life. I didn’t like the anger and the upset eating away at me. So I picked up the phone and called my friend with whom I felt there was a communication left incomplete. <br />
<br />
In our phone call, I took full responsibility for the way things went. [Please note that when I say "I took full responsibility" I don't mean to imply that I took all of the blame. Instead, I mean that I was declaring myself as being the one who would be responsible, or “<i>at cause</i>”, for how this matter would turn out.] I took responsibility for how I had acted immaturely and for my words and actions which were not in line with who I say I am. I told my friend how much I loved her and I told her what she meant to me. I told her that I wasn’t going to tolerate anything that separated us like that again. She said what she said and we ended the call. Peace was present for me and my affinity for my friend was restored. <br />
<br />
Sometimes it takes great courage or boldness to initiate this type of communication. But the instant reward of completing something that was left incomplete for you and is standing in the way of you having a fully loving relationship with someone cannot be tolerated. It doesn’t matter if it’s your boss, a coworker, a family member, a partner, or a friend. The separation caused by something left incomplete should never be tolerated under any circumstances.<br />
<br />
If you have an issue that has been left incomplete with someone in your life, I challenge you today to pick up the phone or drive to see that person and clean up your mess! The rewards that you will reap are well worth it.<br />
</div><o:p></o:p><br />
<div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">Copyright ©2009. All rights reserved.</span><br />
</div>Brian Keithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17652813417780059053noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8795672609805177437.post-41322678756429798442009-10-05T19:57:00.000-07:002009-10-05T19:57:45.916-07:00Are You More Like Your Mother or Father?<style>
<!-- /* Font Definitions */ @font-face {font-family:Wingdings; panose-1:5 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0; mso-font-charset:2; mso-generic-font-family:auto; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:0 268435456 0 0 -2147483648 0;} /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:Arial; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} h3 {mso-style-next:Normal; margin-top:12.0pt; margin-right:0in; margin-bottom:3.0pt; margin-left:0in; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; page-break-after:avoid; mso-outline-level:3; font-size:13.0pt; font-family:Arial; font-weight:bold;} p {mso-margin-top-alt:auto; margin-right:0in; mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto; margin-left:0in; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} /* List Definitions */ @list l0 {mso-list-id:1741246305; mso-list-type:hybrid; mso-list-template-ids:-493476428 67698689 67698691 67698693 67698689 67698691 67698693 67698689 67698691 67698693;} @list l0:level1 {mso-level-number-format:bullet; mso-level-text:•; mso-level-tab-stop:.5in; mso-level-number-position:left; text-indent:-.25in; font-family:Symbol;} ol {margin-bottom:0in;} ul {margin-bottom:0in;} -->
</style> <br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Today’s blog is based on the premise that we all have taken actions in our lives to be like, or not like, our parent(s). This may immediately turn you off to the point that you no longer are interested in this article. However, I would ask you to withhold judgment until after reading the full blog. There just may be something in here that would resonate with you to a degree that will allow you to become more fully self-expressed.<br />
<br />
Consider that at some point in your life, you made a decision that was something to the affect of: “I will <i>not</i> be like my mother. She’s manipulative and controlling.” or “I’m going to be just like my mother when I grow up. She’s self-assured and unafraid to stand up for herself.” And those are just statements about your maternal parent! The same thing happens with the father in a two-parent home. A person will decide to be like his father, or <i>not</i> like his father. Do you see the irony in this?<br />
<br />
If you made a decision to be just like your mother, then your words, actions, and emotions are given to you by “being your mother.” If you made a decision to<i> not</i> be like your mother, then your words, actions, and emotions are given to you by “<i>not</i> being your mother.” I’m certain now that the irony wasn’t lost on you. You can plainly see that regardless of which path you chose, your words, actions, and emotions are given to you by your mother. I would never presuppose that all of your actions, words, or emotions are given to you by “being your mother” or by “<i>not</i> being your mother.” There are a variety of other sources whom you may have copied along the way because you liked who you saw them being.<br />
<br />
The same is true of your father. You made a conscious decision (although it may be buried in the subconscious for some) to be “like your father” or to “<i>not</i> be like your father.” Therefore, the personality of your adolescent and teen years were shaped and blended by you: <br />
a) being your mother OR <i>not</i> being your mother<br />
AND<br />
b) being your father OR <i>not</i> being your father.<br />
Isn’t that great news?!!?<br />
<br />
Ok, I can hear imaginary groans from some readers at that last remark. However, I do think it is good news and here’s why:<br />
<br />
We human beings have the unique power to choose our attitudes, our emotions, our speech, our actions, and our personalities, just like we have the power to put on clothes. I know that may sound simplistic but I use that analogy because it conveys an ease to it rather than struggle. And our lives do not have to be about struggle! Along our lives’ paths, we have picked personality traits that we saw and liked in others and we said to ourselves, “I’m going to be like that.” Or, we saw personality traits in others that we had an extreme dislike for and we said, “I’m <i>not</i> going to be like that.” <br />
<br />
Although we all came “<i>pre-programmed</i>” with a basic personality, <i>we shaped and molded what we had been given to be the outward representation of who we are (and how we feel about ourselves) on the inside</i>. So why is that good news? It’s good news because, if you chose to be a certain way, you can now choose to put aside that same way of being if it no longer works for you. As we grow in knowledge and skills, we find that we no longer need to have certain ways of being that we previously chose for ourselves – possibly as coping mechanisms. Regardless of the reason, once you see that you have a personality trait that isn’t producing the results that you desire in your life (or that’s getting in the way of you getting those results), you can choose to set that personality trait aside, just as easily as you initially chose to pick it up and put it on.<br />
<br />
That’s not to say that you’ll never have to deal with that personality trait again. We have learned patterns or ways of being that are deeply engrained. Therefore, once we decide to make a change, <i>it will take several days of working in the newly desired trait before it is engrained on top of the old one</i>, essentially taking the previous trait's place. So, until that happens, you have a choice in every situation where that old pattern starts to show up. You can give way to the old trait or you can choose to only allow the new behavior. Whatever you choose, know that <i>it is your choice</i> and your actions, behavior, and speech are not given to you by another – but they are only given by you.<br />
<br />
Now that’s empowerment!<br />
<br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">Copyright ©2009. All rights reserved.</span> </div>Brian Keithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17652813417780059053noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8795672609805177437.post-83517938026164234402009-10-02T13:14:00.000-07:002009-10-02T13:14:44.251-07:00Why Planning is Tied to Success<style>
<!-- /* Font Definitions */ @font-face {font-family:Wingdings; panose-1:5 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0; mso-font-charset:2; mso-generic-font-family:auto; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:0 268435456 0 0 -2147483648 0;} /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:Arial; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} h3 {mso-style-next:Normal; margin-top:12.0pt; margin-right:0in; margin-bottom:3.0pt; margin-left:0in; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; page-break-after:avoid; mso-outline-level:3; font-size:13.0pt; font-family:Arial; font-weight:bold;} p {mso-margin-top-alt:auto; margin-right:0in; mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto; margin-left:0in; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} /* List Definitions */ @list l0 {mso-list-id:1741246305; mso-list-type:hybrid; mso-list-template-ids:-493476428 67698689 67698691 67698693 67698689 67698691 67698693 67698689 67698691 67698693;} @list l0:level1 {mso-level-number-format:bullet; mso-level-text:•; mso-level-tab-stop:.5in; mso-level-number-position:left; text-indent:-.25in; font-family:Symbol;} ol {margin-bottom:0in;} ul {margin-bottom:0in;} -->
</style> <br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Welcome to October 2009! Today I was reviewing the remaining months until the end of the year and what I have scheduled to do and what I need to do. That year-end deadline is just looming ahead and making me more aware than ever of how necessary it is for me to plan my days, weeks, and months as well as my month-end and year-end goals.<br />
<br />
According to several “success gurus,” planning is one of the most important tools used by those who continually achieve their goals. Of course, one has to start with goal setting. And after setting your goals for the year and month(s), those goals need to be broken down into specific tasks that you must complete by specific time-lines in order to meet the goals by your decided-upon deadlines.<br />
<br />
In his book, “<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Natural-Laws-Successful-Time-Management/dp/0446670642/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1254512228&sr=1-1">The 10 Natural Laws of Successful Time and Life Management</a>,” author <a href="http://www.hyrumwsmith.com/page/page/6708704.htm">Hyrum W. Smith</a> (founder and former CEO of the then, Franklin Quest Co.), writes about SMART goals. He defines SMART goals as those that are: <br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><b>S</b>pecific <b>M</b>easurable <b>A</b>ction-Oriented <b>R</b>ealistic and <b>T</b>imely.<br />
</div>He also writes that, “<i>an unwritten goal is merely a wish. Writing the goal</i> [with the above mentioned attributes attached] <i>forces you to be specific. If a goal is not specific, you will have a hard time knowing whether or not you’ve reached it.</i>”<br />
<br />
For me, I have learned over the years that I accomplish more in a day if I have previously planned my activities for that day. Of course there are some things that I plan well in advance and other things that occur every day or on the same day/time of every week. My practice is simply to sit down at the computer at the end of each day and enter into my calendar program each task that I need to accomplish for the following day, giving it the proper amount of time required.<br />
<br />
I then organize those “appointment/tasks” into their overall order of importance and schedule them for the times throughout the day when I believe I will be able to work on each to complete them. I enter notes into each task/appointment of any of the things I need to complete that task including looking up addresses of where I need to go, directions, and things I need to complete prior to the appointment/task <br />
<br />
Then, I sync my smart-phone up to my calendar program so that I have my planned list of to-do’s with me. My reminder on my phone will prompt me of the next planned event as the time nears. (Before I had a smart-phone, I would simply print out that day’s calendar to carry with me to meetings, etc.)<br />
<br />
That’s my simple system for keeping things in existence for myself. Besides writing down your daily goals, you must implement some sort of system that will keep those goals in existence for you. Once something goes out of existence for you, you are sure to not complete that task. <i>That’s why many people feel like they are always playing catch-up – because they don’t keep their schedules in existence for themselves</i>.<br />
<br />
Lastly, I gather up anything that I will need to complete my next-day goals. I don’t move quickly in the morning so I’m much more effective if I get things together in the evening before going to bed. I’ll pack my gym bag, get directions, paperwork/forms, coupons, or whatever it is I will need to complete my next day goals, and have them ready to go at a moments notice.<br />
<br />
Although goal setting is one of the most important steps to achieving your desires, I would encourage you to, above all, <i>allow for surprises to occur during your day</i>. <i>Look for spontaneity</i> <i>and other things</i> that might require schedule negotiation but <i>will fill your life with love and rich rewards</i>. Remember, you may not always schedule in a call with a cherished friend or loved-one but that call may be the thing that completely makes your day worth your investment.<br />
</div><o:p></o:p><br />
<div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">Copyright ©2009. All rights reserved.</span><br />
</div>Brian Keithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17652813417780059053noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8795672609805177437.post-63134560597439479962009-09-30T14:08:00.000-07:002009-10-01T08:49:28.220-07:00Are You Being "Should" Upon?<style>
<!-- /* Font Definitions */ @font-face {font-family:Wingdings; panose-1:5 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0; mso-font-charset:2; mso-generic-font-family:auto; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:0 268435456 0 0 -2147483648 0;} /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:Arial; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} h3 {mso-style-next:Normal; margin-top:12.0pt; margin-right:0in; margin-bottom:3.0pt; margin-left:0in; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; page-break-after:avoid; mso-outline-level:3; font-size:13.0pt; font-family:Arial; font-weight:bold;} p {mso-margin-top-alt:auto; margin-right:0in; mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto; margin-left:0in; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} /* List Definitions */ @list l0 {mso-list-id:1741246305; mso-list-type:hybrid; mso-list-template-ids:-493476428 67698689 67698691 67698693 67698689 67698691 67698693 67698689 67698691 67698693;} @list l0:level1 {mso-level-number-format:bullet; mso-level-text:•; mso-level-tab-stop:.5in; mso-level-number-position:left; text-indent:-.25in; font-family:Symbol;} ol {margin-bottom:0in;} ul {margin-bottom:0in;} -->
</style> <br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Sometimes life can seem like it’s coming at us very quickly. When it does, our natural state of peace, play, and ease becomes disrupted and we allow in other things to occupy those spaces such as worry/concern, stress, frustration, and even dis-ease. <br />
<br />
Notice that last one? Dis-ease is really the preeminent reason for any sickness that comes into your body. Any sign of dis-ease is a sign that you are not in alignment with what is happening in your life. If this dis-ease is not dealt with as quickly as possible, it can lead to chronic stress, illness, and other things.<br />
<br />
When I notice dis-ease in myself, the very first place that I look is inward. I ask myself something to the effect of “what should be different?” Typically, that will bring my attention to whatever it is that is causing the distress. Sometimes I feel that I should be doing something other than the thing I am doing in the moment. That might be a belief that I put on myself or it might be a feeling that I get from someone else. <br />
<br />
For me, this dis-ease is commonplace whenever I take any kind of break. When I ask my question (“what do I feel distressed about?”), I usually get back an answer like, “I feel that I should be working,” or, “I should be working out,” or, “I believe that so-and-so thinks I should be … (fill in the blank)!” When you look at these responses, you can readily see that they all contain “should” or some form of “should” in them.<br />
<br />
The word “should” is just as dangerous for us as comparison is. Just like when you compare yourself to others for either the purpose of feeling better about yourself or making yourself feel “less than”, should statements always leave us with a feeling of “less than.” We “should on ourselves,” we “should on others,” and we also allow others to “should all over us!” Really, the only thing that we should do is banish the word “should” from our vocabularies!<br />
<br />
If we remove “should” from our self-defeating inward talk and if we discontinue using the word “should” with others, we can create a better space for ourselves and others to live more freely with what we believe would be the best use of our time, energy, and efforts at any given moment.<br />
<br />
The next time that a “should” comes up for you (or, in other words, the next time you feel “should upon”) ask yourself where that “should” is coming from and why it is there. I would venture a guess that it’s there because of some concern or list of concerns that you have. Possibly you’re concerned about how others will perceive you if you don’t do what you think they feel you should do. Regardless of where the “should” is coming from, look at your concerns and simply ask yourself, one-by-one, if you can give up each of those concerns? Once you confirm that you can, ask yourself if you will give up each of those concerns? Again, once you’ve answered in the affirmative, and you’ve given up that self-defeating “should-talk,” you’ll find that your body is restored to its natural state of peace, play, and ease.<br />
</div><o:p></o:p><br />
<div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">Copyright ©2009. All rights reserved.</span></div>Brian Keithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17652813417780059053noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8795672609805177437.post-8911810342597865402009-09-29T14:00:00.000-07:002009-09-29T14:00:19.504-07:00The Outline of a New Plan<style>
<!-- /* Font Definitions */ @font-face {font-family:Wingdings; panose-1:5 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0; mso-font-charset:2; mso-generic-font-family:auto; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:0 268435456 0 0 -2147483648 0;} /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:Arial; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} h3 {mso-style-next:Normal; margin-top:12.0pt; margin-right:0in; margin-bottom:3.0pt; margin-left:0in; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; page-break-after:avoid; mso-outline-level:3; font-size:13.0pt; font-family:Arial; font-weight:bold;} p {mso-margin-top-alt:auto; margin-right:0in; mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto; margin-left:0in; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} /* List Definitions */ @list l0 {mso-list-id:1741246305; mso-list-type:hybrid; mso-list-template-ids:-493476428 67698689 67698691 67698693 67698689 67698691 67698693 67698689 67698691 67698693;} @list l0:level1 {mso-level-number-format:bullet; mso-level-text:•; mso-level-tab-stop:.5in; mso-level-number-position:left; text-indent:-.25in; font-family:Symbol;} ol {margin-bottom:0in;} ul {margin-bottom:0in;} -->
</style> <br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I'm currently re-evaluating what is working for me and what isn't. And, while this blog is important to me and I believe that it is benefitting both me and my readers, it also takes more time than I initially thought it would.<br />
<br />
That being said, I am revising my initial commitment to this blog which was to post five blogs/week (one each day on M-F). I am now committing to post three new blogs per week. I will aim to do this as a Monday/Wednesday/Friday posting but there may be some weeks when I post my three blogs on different days, depending on what I have on my schedule. <br />
<br />
I thank you for your continued readership and support of my work. I also appreciate your feedback and responses to posts I’ve written.<br />
<br />
I continually wish for you every good thing.<br />
<br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">Copyright ©2009. All rights reserved.</span></div>Brian Keithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17652813417780059053noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8795672609805177437.post-37757112761546044912009-09-28T13:55:00.000-07:002009-09-28T13:55:42.498-07:00Rules for Being Human<style>
<!-- /* Font Definitions */ @font-face {font-family:Wingdings; panose-1:5 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0; mso-font-charset:2; mso-generic-font-family:auto; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:0 268435456 0 0 -2147483648 0;} /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:Arial; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} h3 {mso-style-next:Normal; margin-top:12.0pt; margin-right:0in; margin-bottom:3.0pt; margin-left:0in; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; page-break-after:avoid; mso-outline-level:3; font-size:13.0pt; font-family:Arial; font-weight:bold;} p {mso-margin-top-alt:auto; margin-right:0in; mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto; margin-left:0in; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} /* List Definitions */ @list l0 {mso-list-id:1741246305; mso-list-type:hybrid; mso-list-template-ids:-493476428 67698689 67698691 67698693 67698689 67698691 67698693 67698689 67698691 67698693;} @list l0:level1 {mso-level-number-format:bullet; mso-level-text:•; mso-level-tab-stop:.5in; mso-level-number-position:left; text-indent:-.25in; font-family:Symbol;} ol {margin-bottom:0in;} ul {margin-bottom:0in;} -->
</style> <br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">If you have come across the “Rules for Being Human” sometime during the last twenty-five years, you may have chosen to photocopy them and keep them in front of you on your desk or cubicle wall. These “rules” have been passed around and gained popularity over the years – while the author was yet unknown.<br />
<br />
Now, in a book entitled, “<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Life-Game-These-Are-Rules/dp/0767902386/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1254170564&sr=1-1">If Life is a Game, These are the Rules</a>,” author <a href="http://www.drcherie.com/">Chérie Carter-Scott, Ph.D.</a> has not only claimed herself as the author of these Rules for Being Human, but she has expanded the explanations of each rule to provide deeper insight into the universal truths from where each of these rules came.<br />
<br />
Below is a slightly expanded version of her rules taken from several various sources and compiled together for you. If you enjoy the following, consider purchasing the book.<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="color: blue; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: center;"><b><span style="font-size: large;">The Rules for Being Human </span></b><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><b style="color: blue;">You will receive a body.</b> You may like it or hate it, but it will be yours for as long as you live. How you take care of it or fail to take care of it can make a difference in the quality of your life.<br />
<br />
<b style="color: blue;">You will learn lessons.</b> You are enrolled in a full-time, informal school called “Life on Planet Earth.” Each day, you will be presented with opportunities to learn what you need to know. The lessons presented are often completely different from those you think you need. Every person or incident is the Universal Teacher.<br />
<br />
<b style="color: blue;">There are no mistakes, only lessons.</b> Growth is a process of trial, error, and experimentation. The "failed" experiments are as much a part of the process as the experiments that ultimately "work."<br />
<br />
<b style="color: blue;">A lesson is repeated until it is learned.</b> A lesson will be presented to you in various forms until you have learned it. External problems are a precise reflection of your internal state. When you clear inner obstructions your outside world changes. Pain is how the universe gets your attention.<br />
<br />
<b style="color: blue;">You will know you've learned a lesson when your actions change.</b> Wisdom is practice. When you have learned the lesson (as evidenced by a change in your attitude and ultimately your behavior) then you can go on to the next lesson.<br />
<br />
<b style="color: blue;">Learning lessons does not end.</b> There's no part of life that doesn't contain its lessons. If you're alive, that means there are still lessons to be learned.<br />
<br />
<b style="color: blue;">“There” is no better a place than “here”.</b> When your “there” has become a “here” you will simply discover another “there” that will again look better than your “here.”<br />
<br />
<b style="color: blue;">Others are merely mirrors of you.</b> You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects something you love or hate about yourself. When tempted to criticize others, ask yourself why you feel so strongly.<br />
<br />
<b style="color: blue;">What you make of your life is up to you.</b> Life provides the canvas; you do the painting. Take charge of your life -- or someone else will. You have all the tools and resources you need. What you create with those tools and resources is up to you.<br />
<br />
<b style="color: blue;">You always get what you want.</b> Your subconscious rightfully determines what energies, experiences, and people you attract -- therefore, the only foolproof way to know what you want is to see what you have. There are no victims, only students.<br />
<br />
<b style="color: blue;">The answers lie inside of you.</b> The solutions to all of life’s problems lie within your grasp. Children need guidance from others; as we mature, we trust our hearts, where the Laws of Spirit are written. You know more than you have heard or read or been told. All you need to do is ask, look, listen, and trust.<br />
<br />
<div style="color: blue;"><b>You will forget all this.</b><br />
</div><br />
<div style="color: blue;"><b>You can remember any time you wish.</b><br />
</div><br />
</div><o:p></o:p><br />
<div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">Copyright ©2009. All rights reserved.</span><br />
</div>Brian Keithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17652813417780059053noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8795672609805177437.post-64988978184364284102009-09-24T21:27:00.000-07:002009-09-24T21:27:40.324-07:00Why Reality Is Subjective<style>
<!-- /* Font Definitions */ @font-face {font-family:Wingdings; panose-1:5 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0; mso-font-charset:2; mso-generic-font-family:auto; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:0 268435456 0 0 -2147483648 0;} /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:Arial; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} h3 {mso-style-next:Normal; margin-top:12.0pt; margin-right:0in; margin-bottom:3.0pt; margin-left:0in; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; page-break-after:avoid; mso-outline-level:3; font-size:13.0pt; font-family:Arial; font-weight:bold;} p {mso-margin-top-alt:auto; margin-right:0in; mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto; margin-left:0in; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} /* List Definitions */ @list l0 {mso-list-id:1741246305; mso-list-type:hybrid; mso-list-template-ids:-493476428 67698689 67698691 67698693 67698689 67698691 67698693 67698689 67698691 67698693;} @list l0:level1 {mso-level-number-format:bullet; mso-level-text:•; mso-level-tab-stop:.5in; mso-level-number-position:left; text-indent:-.25in; font-family:Symbol;} ol {margin-bottom:0in;} ul {margin-bottom:0in;} -->
</style> <br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Most people, when they begin to hear the messages of, and believe in, the Law of Attraction, The Law of Faith, &/or Healing, they come to a point where they have heard enough to test their own wings, so to speak. So they begin to believe for that which they desire and now understand that they can have. <br />
<br />
However, stepping over into this new realm isn’t always easy. And many people come up against the very same obstacle no matter what it is for which they are exercising their belief. That obstacle is: what can be observed as the realistic present circumstances of one’s life through the five senses versus what one is believing. And, when this comes up for some, they find themselves arguing for what they “see” as real versus what they are believing to be real.<br />
<br />
One might say, “I’m believing for my healing but everything that I can see and feel, and everything that the doctors report as my condition tells me that the reality of the situation is that I have a serious disease and I need to subject my body to invasive medical treatment.” However, the reality of any situation is never dictated by what one sees, hears, smells, tastes, or feels. The reality of a situation is only given by what one perceives to be the truth.<br />
<br />
The reality of me as a writer can only be given by the future into which I’m living. If I only believe that what my five senses tell me is my current life as a writer will always be my life as a writer, I would discontinue writing for others immediately. However, I choose to believe that I have a gift and I believe that gift will open doors for me to make a living through writing and doing other things about which I am passionate. My life as a writer exists today because of my perception of seeing myself as a published author. That life is the life I live into every day as given by the future I have created for myself.<br />
<br />
We must always remember that believing in anything does not require us to deny the existence of our present circumstances. In fact, faith allows us to say with surety, “although my current circumstances point to my insurmountable debt, I believe, and I therefore speak by faith, that all of my bills are paid and I am financially free.” You see, faith can look into the eye of present circumstances and tell them to give way to the truth – the truth being what we perceive to be the reality of the situation. <br />
<br />
The reality that we believe in is that everything on this earth is made up of the same thing – energy. And just as the heavens and the earth were created by the language of God, we were created in His very image and we therefore have the same creative power to speak to the circumstances of our lives and command them to fall in line with the reality of the universe – that we create our lives, and we attract the circumstances that surround us.<br />
</div><o:p></o:p><br />
<div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">Copyright ©2009. All rights reserved.</span></div>Brian Keithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17652813417780059053noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8795672609805177437.post-78707418818652794682009-09-21T05:00:00.000-07:002009-09-21T01:49:07.301-07:00Acceptance and the Art of Disappearance (Part 3 of 3)<style>
<!-- /* Font Definitions */ @font-face {font-family:Wingdings; panose-1:5 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0; mso-font-charset:2; mso-generic-font-family:auto; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:0 268435456 0 0 -2147483648 0;} /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:Arial; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} h3 {mso-style-next:Normal; margin-top:12.0pt; margin-right:0in; margin-bottom:3.0pt; margin-left:0in; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; page-break-after:avoid; mso-outline-level:3; font-size:13.0pt; font-family:Arial; font-weight:bold;} p {mso-margin-top-alt:auto; margin-right:0in; mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto; margin-left:0in; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} /* List Definitions */ @list l0 {mso-list-id:1741246305; mso-list-type:hybrid; mso-list-template-ids:-493476428 67698689 67698691 67698693 67698689 67698691 67698693 67698689 67698691 67698693;} @list l0:level1 {mso-level-number-format:bullet; mso-level-text:•; mso-level-tab-stop:.5in; mso-level-number-position:left; text-indent:-.25in; font-family:Symbol;} ol {margin-bottom:0in;} ul {margin-bottom:0in;} -->
</style> <br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Here we are on Monday and this is part three – the final section of this series of blogs related to agreement, disagreement, resistance, and acceptance. As a recap, this all started last <a href="http://strategiesfortoday.blogspot.com/2009/09/why-does-inequality-exist.html">Wednesday</a> when we were examining why inequality still exists in America today. We found that the disagreement of a thing just as strongly binds that thing in reality as agreement does. Then, on <a href="http://strategiesfortoday.blogspot.com/2009/09/resistance-causes-persistence.html%20">Friday</a> we began the inquiry of what we would need to do in order to no longer be participants in furthering negative thoughts and ideas in our world. We examined the role of resistance and how it prevents us from transforming the things in our lives that aren’t working for us. And, we ended with discovering that (while we couldn’t transform those things by stepping over them or going around them) we could transform situations by going directly through them. And the avenue through which we have to go directly through a situation without changing it (because <i>change = resistance</i>, and <i>resistance = persistence of a thing</i>) is <a href="http://strategiesfortoday.blogspot.com/2009/08/acceptance.html">acceptance</a>.<br />
<br />
So, today we’re looking at acceptance of the things we’ve been resisting for the purpose of transforming those areas of our lives that are not working. This is not for anyone who is satisfied with the way in which his life is going. And, it’s not for the person who is faint of heart! This is only for the individual who is ready to take control of his life, to transform non-working situations into working ones, and who is willing to take a hard, confronting look at his own self for the purpose of leaving behind those things that are not serving his highest purpose.<br />
<br />
Following, I’ve listed the steps one needs to take in order to use the powerful tool of acceptance in order to allow for the disappearance of the limiting barriers from one’s life:<br />
<br />
Firstly, pick the area of your life that you want to transform. <br />
<br />
Next, you’ll need to take a hard look at what it is that’s not working. <i>Divorce yourself from the story of why it’s not working</i> and separate out the facts of the situation. To go through this process, you need to become disinterested in continuing to sell yourself the story you’ve been selling to everyone else. You may have to become brutally honest to get to the basic truth. Hint: Look for the area(s) where your complaint(s) lies and then look at your reasons.<br />
<br />
Thirdly, pinpoint exactly what it is that you’ve been resisting. Look for: what you’ve been angry about, what you’ve become complacent about, where you’ve been inflexible, what you’ve been trying to change, what you’re afraid of, what you’ve been trying to control or dominate, or where you’ve been in denial or become resigned. Next, ask yourself why you’ve been resisting this thing. List out each reason you have for your resistance.<br />
<br />
Now, look at each reason, one by one, and ask yourself with each one: “<i><u>Can</u> I give up that concern?</i>”<br />
<br />
If you answer that you can, then ask yourself: “<i><u>Will</u> you give up that concern?</i>”<br />
<br />
Go through your list, until you’ve determined that you are both able, and willing, to give up each and every concern.<br />
<br />
Lastly, after you’ve given up each concern, confirm your acceptance of the thing by saying, “I acknowledge that (<i>say what you’ve been resisting</i>). I accept that (<i>say what you’ve been resisting</i>) and I accept it exactly as it is and exactly as it isn’t. I no longer need to change it, control it, complain about it, fear it, or be in denial about it. I allow it to exist with no further judgment from me.”<br />
<br />
That’s it! Now look back at what you’ve accomplished. You’ve determined to no longer resist what you had been resisting. Instead of trying to change it, you’ve accepted it exactly as it is without trying to alter it. And, now, you’re on the other side of it. As you look back at the issue, you’ll see that it’s either disappeared completely or it’s still there in present form but it no longer holds any power over you. In fact, you’ll find that you simply feel free of that thing – regardless of whether it still exists or not. <br />
<br />
Since we sometimes learn best by example, I am sharing the following with you as an illustration of how one can put acceptance into immediate use in his or her own life (using the steps outlined above) and thereby allow for the disappearance of issues that are plaguing him or her:<br />
<br />
Jill was a very busy advertising executive. She was a very bright and attractive woman and was highly sought after because of her ability to constantly produce advertising campaigns that worked well for her clients’ product sales. But there was something that was continuously holding Jill back in her personal, and sometimes in her professional, life. It was her weight. Jill wasn’t overly obese. She weighed around 45 lbs. more than a person of her height should. She said that she worked long and unpredictable hours which interfered with her ability to exercise on a regular basis. She had been on several diets – some of which had provided temporary and limited weight loss – but most of which had not produced the results that she desired. Those that had produced real results were so restrictive or limiting that Jill found it hard for her to stay on them.<br />
<br />
While she seemed to have it together in her professional life, Jill’s personal life was another story. Her weight-consciousness kept her from accepting invitations to go out on dates. Since putting on the extra weight, Jill had to allow herself 30 extra minutes to get ready for work because she could never choose what she wanted to wear. (She felt that everything she put on “<i>made her look fat</i>.”) Her self-esteem had been so badly damaged that Jill no longer went out of the house except to go to work or to see family. <br />
<br />
Jill sought out help from a therapist in order to regain her lost self-esteem. She said that she wanted to get past her “mental-blocks” that were preventing her from staying on a diet and exercise program. Jill said she was ready to do the work necessary to lose the weight.<br />
<br />
Since Jill had already identified the area of her life that she wanted to address, Jill’s therapist asked her to tell her all of the reasons she had for not accepting herself exactly as she was. Jill’s list included: (1) not liking the way she looked, (2) not liking the way she felt, (3) being overweight wasn’t healthy, and (4) she felt that people treated her differently since she was overweight.<br />
<br />
For each issue, Jill’s therapist asked her if she could give up her concerns about that issue. For instance, for the first item on her list, she asked Jill, “<i>Can you give up your concerns about how you look?</i>” When Jill decided that she could give them up, her therapist asked her <i>if she would agree to give them up</i>. Jill answered affirmatively to each question. When she had completely given up her concerns, Jill’s therapist asked her to repeat the following after her. She said, “<i>I acknowledge that I am overweight. I accept that I am overweight and I accept my body exactly as it is and exactly as it isn’t. I no longer need to change it, control it, complain about it, fear it, or be in denial about it. I allow my body to exist with no further judgment from me.</i>”<br />
<br />
Suddenly, Jill’s eyes had a sparkle in them. She told her therapist that she felt free from being overweight for the very first time. <br />
<br />
Jill’s therapist then took her through two more exercises of the same type. The first one focused on her complaint about exercising and why she couldn’t do it. The second one was focused on her complaint about diets not working or being too difficult to follow. After completing the three exercises, Jill said that for the first time in 10 years, she<i> felt free to choose</i> whether she wanted to exercise or not and she felt free to choose what she wanted to eat. She stressed that she was now <i>free from the burden</i> of needing to exercise or avoid exercising in order to keep her complaint about her weight in place. The same was true for dieting and eating. <br />
<br />
Two months later in a follow-up session with her therapist, Jill had lost 10 lbs! She said that she repeated her "new mantra" (<i>about being overweight and accepting herself exactly as she was and exactly as she wasn’t</i>) to herself every morning as she looked in the mirror and got dressed. <i>Jill said that the acceptance of herself and her weight was the single factor of her success</i>. <u>She said that when she gave up resisting her weight, her weight ceased to exist as a problem for her</u>.<br />
<br />
She told her therapist that since she accepted herself as she was every day, it gave her the<i> freedom to choose</i> to exercise and to choose what to eat. Finally, she was really free to choose to eat healthily or not. She could freely choose to exercise or not and with that freedom she found that she made her choices based on what she really wanted and not based on old patterns of complaining about a problem that just wouldn’t go away. <br />
<br />
A Question of Zen<o:p></o:p><br />
<br />
In a book entitled, “Zen Without Zen Masters,” author Camen Benares provides some insights, questions, and Koans of Zen on which one may meditate. I am sharing one of these insights (“Good News, Bad News”) here as follows: <br />
<blockquote> <b>Good News, Bad News</b><o:p></o:p><br />
There’s good news tonight and bad news. First, the bad news: there is no good news. Now the good news: you don’t have to listen to the bad news.<br />
</blockquote>After meditation upon this insight, the reader will see that he is getting <i>news </i>and he is <i>only</i> getting news. There is no <i>good</i> news being delivered. And, there is no <i>bad</i> news being delivered. There is <i>only news</i>. All the rest is <i>what we’ve tacked on</i>.<br />
<br />
As you look newly at each issue in your life, allow yourself to see the issue for the simple facts of which it is comprised, without all of the story added. After all, the story is made up of the stuff that we’ve each tacked on. We get to say what is true for us. And, we’re the only ones who get a say in the matter.<br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><br />
Copyright ©2009. All rights reserved.</span><br />
</div>Brian Keithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17652813417780059053noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8795672609805177437.post-11249086222964730202009-09-18T23:05:00.000-07:002009-09-18T23:12:36.285-07:00Resistance Causes Persistence (Part 2 of 3)<style>
<!-- /* Font Definitions */ @font-face {font-family:Wingdings; panose-1:5 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0; mso-font-charset:2; mso-generic-font-family:auto; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:0 268435456 0 0 -2147483648 0;} /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:Arial; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} h3 {mso-style-next:Normal; margin-top:12.0pt; margin-right:0in; margin-bottom:3.0pt; margin-left:0in; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; page-break-after:avoid; mso-outline-level:3; font-size:13.0pt; font-family:Arial; font-weight:bold;} p {mso-margin-top-alt:auto; margin-right:0in; mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto; margin-left:0in; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} /* List Definitions */ @list l0 {mso-list-id:1741246305; mso-list-type:hybrid; mso-list-template-ids:-493476428 67698689 67698691 67698693 67698689 67698691 67698693 67698689 67698691 67698693;} @list l0:level1 {mso-level-number-format:bullet; mso-level-text:•; mso-level-tab-stop:.5in; mso-level-number-position:left; text-indent:-.25in; font-family:Symbol;} ol {margin-bottom:0in;} ul {margin-bottom:0in;} -->
</style> <br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">LOL! Yes, I’m laughing as I write this because I had no idea how my last blog was going to turn out. Neither did I know what I was going to write in today’s blog! But the funnier thing is that I’ve added in this opening paragraph after having written today’s blog. I now see where I’m going (I can hear your sighs of relief) and realize that this must be part two of a three-part blog. There was simply too much information to write in any single blog and these three blogs are broken down into their own central themes so that the overall information can be more easily absorbed. That being said, I hope you have a blessed weekend and enjoy today’s blog. <o:p></o:p><br />
<o:p></o:p><br />
In my last blog (“<a href="http://strategiesfortoday.blogspot.com/2009/09/why-does-inequality-exist.html">Why Does Inequality Exist?</a>”), I left off in the inquiry of “how we, as individuals, can transform ourselves to operate so that we are not furthering (keeping in place) the conversations and realities of sexism, racism, hatred, bigotry, homophobia, etc.” As a recap, in that blog I wrote about the Chinese philosophy of Yin and Yang which are complementary opposites of a whole. I provided commentary from Wikipedia which read, “Yin–yang is not an actual substance or force, the way it might be conceived of in western terms. Instead, it is a universal way of describing the interactions and interrelations of the natural forces that occur in the world.” I devoted the blog to writing that the disagreement of a thing is actually as powerful a cause of that thing “living” in our reality as agreement is. I wrote:<br />
<blockquote>Consider that the more we disagree with something, the more real it becomes. And, consider that disagreement actually holds agreement in place. (Remember our mantra?. . . the theory of renowned Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung who stated that “<i>what you resist, persists.</i>”) In fact, you may wish to consider that the primary function of disagreement is to create agreement.<br />
</blockquote>So, since disagreement is just another form of resistance, I want us to take a broader look at the nature of resistance. Firstly, let’s look at the definition of resistance. The Merriam-Webster online dictionary defines <a href="http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/resistance">resistance</a> as:<br />
<blockquote><b>1a:</b> an act or instance of resisting : opposition <b>b: </b>a means of resisting<br />
<b>2:</b> the power or capacity to resist: as <b>a:</b> the inherent ability of an organism to resist harmful influences (as disease, toxic agents, or infection) <b>b:</b> the capacity of a species or strain of microorganism to survive exposure to a toxic agent (as a drug) formerly effective against it <br />
<b>3:</b> an opposing or retarding force<br />
<b>4a:</b> the opposition offered by a body or substance to the passage through it of a steady electric current <b>b:</b> a source of resistance<br />
<b>5:</b> a psychological defense mechanism wherein a patient rejects, denies, or otherwise opposes the therapeutic efforts of a psychotherapist<br />
<b>6:</b> often capitalized : an underground organization of a conquered or nearly conquered country engaging in sabotage and secret operations against occupation forces and collaborators <br />
</blockquote>So, taking our queue from definition #3 above, for the purpose of this blog we’ll use the following as our definition of resistance: “<i>the act of an individual using an opposing or retarding force against some one or some thing</i>.”<br />
<br />
Now, to better understand the nature of resistance, let’s take a look at other forms of resistance that we use. (Some may even be methods or strategies we don’t normally think of as resistance but, nevertheless, they still are.) Some forms of resistance are: boredom, anger, jealousy, inflexibility, rudeness, complacency, stubbornness, changing, complaining, bitterness, back-biting, gossiping, “being right” (about one’s own opinion), self-righteousness, indignity, fear, manipulation, controlling, dominating, denial, and becoming resigned about the situation. Quite an interesting list, huh? You may have been surprised by the inclusion of some of these ways of being I listed here. If you’re still skeptical as to whether something belongs on the list or not, take a look at the definition of resistance we are using and see if you can find an example that might fit. If it doesn’t fit, throw it out . . . you won’t hurt my feelings.<br />
<br />
So, if we’re looking to get past something (but we know that resisting it won’t work except to cause it to continue on, or persist, in our lives) the only way we can get past that thing is through transformation. This can be the transformation of yourself or transformation of that thing. (Just remember, that if you’re going to control the outcome of your life, the only person you have control over is you. So,<i> it will be much easier to transform yourself than to wait for some situation outside of you to transform itself </i>– if it ever does at all.) Remember in my very first blog on this site (June ’09), I wrote that transformation is “giving up one form for another” as in “giving up being an orange for being an apple” and I used the example of a caterpillar giving up the only form it knows to become something completely different (a butterfly)? Transformation isn’t the same as change because <i>change always seeks to improve on what’s already there</i>; it seeks to alter what’s already in existence. In this case, transformation will provide us the opening to give up one way of being and to choose another.<br />
<br />
You can’t get around it or over it or to the side of it because those are all forms of resistance. So, transformation has to be present in order for one to directly impact the thing he is currently resisting. Instead of trying to change the issue or side-step the problem, the only way to not resist the situation at hand is to go directly through it. So how does one go through an issue he’s been resisting? Simple. . . he does so by using the art of acceptance!<br />
<br />
(If you remember, I’ve blogged about acceptance on here a few times. If you haven’t read those blogs, just look over in the tag cloud on your right (the thing that has the orange words against the black background) and mouse over the tag cloud to get the labels to spin. When you find the word “acceptance,” click on it and all of the blogs in which I’ve written about acceptance will appear on the same screen for you to read. You may wish to read a few of these just to be sure you understand where I’m coming from when I write about acceptance.)<br />
<br />
Check in here on Monday when I will post the final part of this three-part series. I will be blogging about what acceptance is/isn’t and I will explain all of the benefits of acceptance from the standpoint of transforming any situation you have been resisting. Until then, I wish you every good thing.<br />
<br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"> To Be Continued . . . <o:p></o:p><br />
<o:p></o:p><br />
Copyright ©2009. All rights reserved.</span><br />
</div>Brian Keithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17652813417780059053noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8795672609805177437.post-45216653547331857522009-09-16T21:48:00.000-07:002009-09-18T23:12:13.186-07:00Why Does Inequality Exist? (Part 1 of 3)<style>
<!-- /* Font Definitions */ @font-face {font-family:Wingdings; panose-1:5 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0; mso-font-charset:2; mso-generic-font-family:auto; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:0 268435456 0 0 -2147483648 0;} /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:Arial; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} h3 {mso-style-next:Normal; margin-top:12.0pt; margin-right:0in; margin-bottom:3.0pt; margin-left:0in; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; page-break-after:avoid; mso-outline-level:3; font-size:13.0pt; font-family:Arial; font-weight:bold;} p {mso-margin-top-alt:auto; margin-right:0in; mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto; margin-left:0in; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} /* List Definitions */ @list l0 {mso-list-id:1741246305; mso-list-type:hybrid; mso-list-template-ids:-493476428 67698689 67698691 67698693 67698689 67698691 67698693 67698689 67698691 67698693;} @list l0:level1 {mso-level-number-format:bullet; mso-level-text:•; mso-level-tab-stop:.5in; mso-level-number-position:left; text-indent:-.25in; font-family:Symbol;} ol {margin-bottom:0in;} ul {margin-bottom:0in;} -->
</style> <br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">When I look at where we have progressed to in today’s society, and when I look at the incredible bravery of so many Americans who stood up for that in which they believed, I’m saddened to see that we still have so much inequality running rampant in our country. So, why does inequality still exist today? What causes it to continue to be part of our shared reality? <o:p> </o:p><br />
<br />
Consider that the more we disagree with something, the more real it becomes. And, consider that disagreement actually holds agreement in place. (Remember our mantra?. . . the theory of renowned Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung who stated that “<i>what you resist, persists</i>.”) In fact, you may wish to consider that the <i>primary</i> function of disagreement is to create agreement. As an example, I offer racism. If racism did not exist in some sort of shared reality, we would have no reason to disagree with it. It simply would not be. If it didn’t exist, there would be no reason for the disagreement of it. Therefore, it’s perfectly sound and logical to infer that racism exists because of agreement and that the agreement of racism continues to be held in place through disagreement. <br />
<blockquote>In Chinese philosophy, yin and yang are generalized descriptions of the antitheses or mutual correlations in human perceptions of phenomena in the natural world, combining to create a unity of opposites. The term "liang yi" (simplified Chinese: 两仪; traditional Chinese: 兩儀; pinyin: liǎngyí) literally means "<i>two mutually correlated opposites</i>," also known as Yin and Yang. <br />
<br />
According to the philosophy, yin and yang are complementary opposites within a greater whole. Everything has both yin and yang aspects, which constantly interact, never existing in absolute stasis. It is impossible to talk about yin or yang without some reference to the opposite: yin–yang are rooted together. Since yin and yang are created together in a single movement, they are bound together as parts of a mutual whole. <br />
<br />
Yin–yang is not an actual substance or force, the way it might be conceived of in western terms. Instead, it is a universal way of describing the interactions and interrelations of the natural forces that occur in the world. It applies as well to social constructions – e.g. value judgments like good and evil, rich and poor, honor and dishonor – yet it is often used in those contexts as a warning. <o:p> </o:p><br />
<br />
Yin always contains the potential for yang, and yang for yin. Yin and yang are balanced: yin–yang is a dynamic equilibrium. <i>Because they arise together they are always equal: if one disappears, the other must disappear as well, leaving emptiness. </i><br />
<br />
Source: <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yin_yang">Wikipedia</a> </blockquote>So to further explain, in the concept of Yin and Yang we can see that there cannot be “hot” if there is no “cold.” There can be no “sin” if there is not “righteousness.” And there can be no “good” without “bad.” If you consider this, I think you will find it to be true. There would be no reason for the concept of evil to exist if all we had was good. Good would cease to be good. It would just be the way that everything is and thus we would not require a name for it. There would be no need for a name as we would have no need to <i>distinguish</i> it from anything else. <o:p> </o:p> <br />
<br />
If you immediately consider God however, you might say that God exists regardless of anything else. To this end, you must realize the difference between the person,”God,” and the concept, “God.” (I write person because even though we know God to be a spirit being, we still relate to him as if he were a person.) So, the <i>person</i>, “God,” exists without having an opposite or any other. The Yin-Yang philosophy does not apply to the “<i>beingness</i>” of humans or deities – only to concepts – describing the ebb and flow of how the world works. <o:p> </o:p><br />
<br />
The <i>concept</i>, “God,” exists only because there is an opposite – “Satan.” When we view <i>God as concept</i>, we are thinking of His attributes such as: Good, Benevolent, Loving, Healer, Omniscient, Omnipresent, etc. When we view <i>Satan as concept</i>, we likewise are considering his attributes such as: Bad, Evil, Destroyer, Tempter, etc. Each concept named above, must have an opposite in order to exist. If I asked you to prove God, you would most likely try to relay to me an experience you have had of Him through the expression of one of His attributes. But in trying to prove God’s existence based on an experience of one of His amazing attributes, you will always fall short of proving <i>Him</i> because your argument will merely focus on proving the existence of an <i>attribute</i> of God (and therefore also proving the opposite attribute of that which you are trying to prove). <o:p> </o:p><br />
<br />
There seems to be no way to empirically prove God. Therefore, should someone ask me to prove God, I would have to (<i>arguably</i> wisely) say that I cannot and I would point him to the scriptures that read: <br />
<blockquote>“<i>In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.</i>” - John 1:1 (NKJV) <o:p> </o:p><br />
<br />
“<i>But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.</i>” – Hebrews 11:6 (NKJV).</blockquote>Any beliefs that you or I have <i>about</i> God will most likely diminish him. We don’t have to have beliefs <i>about </i>God. If you believe <i>in</i> God, your beliefs <i>about</i> Him are completely unnecessary. <o:p> </o:p><br />
<br />
The same is true for you and me. You don’t need to have beliefs <i>about </i>me. You believe <i>in</i> me because you have experience of me. Therefore, any beliefs you make up about me, will most likely diminish my ability to be powerful for you in your life. The only way to get past this, is to <i>give up any and all beliefs you have about me and just let me be – exactly as I am and exactly as I am not</i>. <o:p> </o:p><br />
<br />
So where does that leave us? Well, it still leaves us with the question of how we, as individuals, can transform ourselves to operate so that we are not furthering (keeping in place) the conversations and realities of sexism, racism, hatred, bigotry, homophobia, etc. I will go into this inquiry in my next blog. <i>Until then, I wish you every good thing.</i><br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p><br />
<span style="font-size: 11pt;"> To Be Continued . . . </span><br />
<span style="font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p> <o:p></o:p><br />
Copyright ©2009. All rights reserved.</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"></div>Brian Keithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17652813417780059053noreply@blogger.com0