A New Kind of Christmas

There I was, sitting in the family room of my parent’s home on Christmas Eve, surrounded by my mom, dad, brother, sister-in-law, sister, nieces, and nephews, and I realized that something was drastically different this year. All week long, my mind had only been on squeezing the most out of my time with my family that I could. It hadn’t even dawned on me that I was different – but different I was. In fact, it was the first Christmas in my life for which I no longer cared about receiving a single gift. The meaning of Christmas had somehow changed for me and it wasn’t until that night, while opening my presents and watching the others in my family open theirs, that this realization actually sank in.

I remembered that it was just last year before the Christmas holiday that I was admitting to my partner how self-centered and selfish I had always felt around this time of year. I truly loved to give presents but it was equally important to me to receive them! And, my expectations were always so high, that I had never failed to be disappointed. It was a way of being, that I had, in which I was not proud of myself and desperately wanted to change but didn’t know how.

At this point, I should add that I had embarked on a journey of self-healing over this last year – actually beginning in mid-2009 – but picking up a quicker and more intentional pace beginning in January of 2010. I was traveling the country to study and learn different techniques of healing and was applying them both in practice on others as well as myself. One such technique that I learned and used extensively on myself and others was The LifeLine Technique. The LifeLine Technique focuses on emotions (from our past – emotions that we’ve denied, disconnected from, or repressed) as the root of physical and emotional ailments and discomforts. Using this technique, I was able to locate and interpret several issues such as repressed emotions and self-limiting beliefs that I had held, and release them so that they no longer affected my present or future outlook on life.

It must have been a result of this work that I did which led me to be able to transform in such a way that I didn’t even realize the transformation had occurred. After all, that is the way that transformation works. It’s not like changing a behavior where one has to consciously train himself to act or behave differently than he always has in the past. Instead, transformation changes one from the inside out so that when you act in relation to events, you are no longer reacting from a subconscious pattern of behavior that is meant to protect you. But instead, you are now simply acting out a part of you that you have always had inside of you, but that was suppressed due to reactive patterns that were in place.

As part of this journey of self-discovery and healing, I had also spent quite a bit of time focusing on how my expectations in life always let me down. And while I firmly believe in expecting good things to come my way, I was also wrestling with the idea of letting go of certain expectations that I seemed to continuously have of others. At the end of my internal struggle with this idea, I came to a place where I was able to continue having expectations of others (expectations like having integrity, keeping one’s word, etc.) and also able to let go of the same when I saw that my expectations were not met (or were not going to be met). In other words, I feel like I found a balance of a place where I could have expectations for the things in life that really mattered, not have them for those things that didn’t matter in the larger scope of life, and the ability to let go of expectations that I had when I saw they would not be met.

Learning to let go was probably the biggest challenge for me and yet the most rewarding one. Once I realized that I was always left in upset by not letting go of my unmet expectations, and knowing that I was committed to not living a life of upset, the solution became obvious – give up any unmet expectation(s), thereby allowing me freedom to not live in upset with others.

I suppose it was a combination of all of these things, and putting these learned-lessons into practice that has led me to be even more available to no longer have expectations for those things in life, which in the grand scope of things, really do not matter. Expecting nothing for Christmas was an added bonus for me and evidence of the hard work that I had put into transforming this area of my life.

Being able to enjoy my family-time at Christmas this year was the biggest blessing I could have had. Not only was I able to feel truly appreciative for what I did receive, but I was able to enjoy my family on a whole different level, and allow the true spirit of Christmas to show through me, and to be fully felt by me.

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Copyright ©2011.  All rights reserved.

Mastering The Game of Life

One of my favorite authors and teachers, Dr. Darren R. Weissman, included in his first book, The Power of Infinite Love & Gratitude, what he has called the 9 Rules to Mastering the Game of Life. Following, I share these 9 Rules to Mastering the Game of Life along with a direct quote of Dr. Weissman’s from each. If you enjoy these and would like to learn more, please check out Dr. Weissman’s website and/or "like" his Facebook page where he has housed videos related to each of these 9 Rules.

Rule #1: The Universe Is Infinite

Here, Dr. Weissman writes, “This view is magnified infinitely by the core truth that you’re a spiritual being having a human-being experience. By be-ing, you experience the infinite essence and wonder of life."

Rule #2: You have free will; a choice with every experience.

“The act of 'being' is a choice to stay connected to the moment, no matter how difficult it may be. This is living in Present Time Consciousness. When you practice this, you awaken to the stream of consciousness and flow of thoughts that are always present within your mind.”

Rule #3: Everything is interconnected. For every choice that you make, there will be a consequence.

Dr. Weissman writes, “The LifeLine Law of Transformation and Creation states: ‘Emotions transform energy; energy creates movement; movement is change; and changes is the essence of life.’ As a result of change, you experience life.” He also writes, “It’s by taking responsibility for your choices that you experience the flow of life and the greatest opportunities for growth.”

Rule #4: Judgment is prohibited.

“Judgment is the lack of Present Time Consciousness (PTC). It’s a reaction based on preconceived notions about a person, race, religion, gender, nationality, and so forth. Living in PTC – embracing your intuition, feelings, and beliefs, facilitates your ability to transcend judgment and make the best choices.”

Rule #5: The greatest power is self-love.

“Unconditional acceptance, forgiveness, and letting go are essential to unleashing the infinite power of self-love.” “Self-love is the process of self-discovery – acknowledging, honoring, and releasing the parts of yourself that you’ve subconsciously internalized, denied, and disconnected from.”
“The greatest adversary to self-love is fear. Resisting change because you’re afraid of losing your identity keeps this emotion alive.”

Rule #6: You’ll experience pain, fear, and challenges.

“Throughout history, the greatest accomjplishments have been achieved through determination, persistence, blood, sweat, and tears. Everyone experiences pain, fear, and challenges. It’s the choices you make when faced with difficult situations that empower you to transform them into an opportunity for growth. Embracing this rule is vital to living a life without judgment.”

Rule #7: Embrace life with the attitude of gratitude.

“The attitude that you have toward any experience is a choice. You can always view the cup as being half full or half empty, but the most courageous way to move through life is by choosing to find the good in every instant. Rather than surrendering to emotions of negativity and despair, consciously and creatively embrace life with the attitude of gratitude.”

Rule #8: Take responsibility for your life.

“…symptoms or challenges are your life’s way of telling you to take responsibility.”
“Taking responsibility means that you’ll make the choice to maintain Present Time Consciousness, despite the circumstances. It signifies that you won’t judge the consequences of your choices, but rather learn from them. By opting to take responsibility for your life, you’ll be inclined to embrace your experiences with the attitude of gratitude.”

Rule #9: Life has meaning.

“Turn on the news and you’ll hear about war, genocide, political upheaval, scandals, poverty, starvation, racism, pollution…” “Can you imagine if life didn’t have meaning and all these crises were occurring just ‘because’? This is our wake-up call! Life is painful, yet there’s value in pain. Life is scary, yet there’s meaning in fear. Life is challenging, yet every challenge is an opportunity. We need to ask the question Why? and be willing to hear the answer.”

If you’ve enjoyed these brief excerpts of Dr. Weissman’s “Mastering The Game of Life,” I encourage you to fully read his books, “The Power of Infinite Love & Gratitude” and “Awakening to the Secret Code of Your Mind.”
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Copyright ©2010.  All rights reserved.