25 June, 2009

Our Worlds are shaped by our Perspectives

Perspective is a very powerful thing.  Our moods are given to us by the perspectives we assume.  Our thoughts, our feelings, and our actions are all driven by the perspectives from which we choose to live our lives.

We sometimes overlook the power of perspective in our daily lives.  But, it is the absolute framework for the quality of our lives.  Our perspectives determine our willingness to take action in any given situation.  If we believe we are unbreakable, our perspective will lead us to take risks, ask for things that others won’t, and attempt things that others may shy away from.  If we believe ourselves to be broken, our perspective will keep us from easily making friends, prevent us from requesting anything from another for which the answer might be “no”, and stop us from taking any action at which we might ultimately fail.

We must make every effort to vigilantly remember:  the perspectives we assume provide the context for which the content of our lives shows up. 

As an example, if you have the perspective that you are unlovable, the only context in which people can show up for you is in a space of unloving.  In that space of unloving, any given person’s actions will be used to prove to yourself that you are incapable of being loved - - regardless of how benign the action might have been.  [Remember: We always find proof of what we’re looking for.  If we’re looking for proof that people are dangerous, we will always find proof of it in their words and actions.  If we’re looking for proof that people are loving, we will always find proof of that in their words and actions.]

Last week I needed to be at a specific place at a specific time.  I left the house late.  As I was driving, I became very aware of my thoughts and feelings.  I was tense.  I was irritable.  I was in an upset and everyone else who was driving in my path was doing so incorrectly.  I was making all of the driving actions they took about me.  If someone pulled into my lane ahead of me, they were inconsiderate and oblivious to the fact that I was in a hurry.  Quickly, I regained consciousness and choose a new reality - - a new perspective.  I thought:

When I believe that I’m going to be late, I get upset and everything that happens is wrong…..it’s like the world’s conspiring against me.  However, if I didn’t have to be anywhere at a specific time and I were just out running errands, everything would be great and the actions that other drivers took would (of course) not be about me.  In fact, they would be of little consequence to me.

I didn’t take the perspective that I wasn’t going to be late.  I was pretty certain that I would be and lying to myself about that would not be the best solution.  Instead, I said to myself, “OK, I’m going to be late.  There is nothing I can do to change that.  All I can do is communicate my impending lateness to the party concerned and allow myself to be with the fact that I will be late.”  Hurrying, driving recklessly fast or taking risks in my car where not actions that I wanted to take.  Instead, I simply allowed myself to be with the fact that I would be late and I was able to easily switch gears back to a “running errands” type of driving mood - - no hurry, nothing wrong, no irritability.  

You choose what you want in life.  No one chooses that for you.  Don’t get into a rut of thinking that you’ve been given your perspectives in life.  You may have had certain influences (such as your parents or guardians) in your life, but you chose the perspectives by which you live your life.  And you now have the power to freely choose different perspectives - - ones that empower you to live your best life.

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